It’s July! JULY! You know, that month that brings America independence, fireworks, BBQ, and afternoon and evening thunderstorms. It also means we’re about 6 weeks away from BP possibly finally maybe probably not cutting off their massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Hurrah! Wait, whut?

The summertime song is allegedly destined to be “California Gurls” by Katy Perry featuring Ludacris. But you know, I’m more particular to Kat DeLuna’s “Push, Push” (featuring Akon, cause you know everything features someone.) And then there is that patently silly “Pretty Boy Swag” by Soulja Boy. Wait, he’s a pretty boy? Oh… wait.. no… he says “no homo” in the song. Psha! Like us respectful fags would accept you, assclown.

On to more important news: The economy seems to still blow for most, but thankfully my local economy is really picking up some steam. I’m trying very hard to adjust and make sure I’m putting some away now that I’m not spending so much on things like car payments and full coverage insurance. I could use some health care, god knows. And I don’t mean the kind that comes in a cocktail glass.

Pride Weekend is once again moving in Atlanta. We didn’t have it in June -again- which blows donkey balls. Last year, it was on Halloween which apparently worked out really well. I just went to the parade which was cold but nice as always. The Latinos looked like they were celebrating the hardest. The rest of us should look to that and be reminded what it’s like to have some real fire in our pride. This year Atlanta Gay Pride is on my birthday weekend, October 9th.

But before that happens, I gotta do the Alchemy thing with Kaze up in the North Georgia Mountain. It’s kind of like Burning Man, but on a smaller scale.

Also coming up is another fine edition of DragonCon. It’s Labor Day Weeekend, always, always, always. Maybe you should come and join me. It’s a lot of fun, the most accessible geek celebrities, and will make you rethink that whole “nerds don’t get laid” stuff.

Finally, I’ve been thinking a lot about Magic: The Gathering again suddenly. I bought a terrible terrible version of it on Steam the other day called Duels of the Planeswalkers. It’s also on XBOX. It’s horrid. Don’t buy it. It was a waste of money to be sure. You can’t even build your own deck? WHAT? Magic: Online is cheaper and certainly is making me think about it a bit. There’s also a new Core set coming out in two weeks. Is this something I could get into again? If it’s still played, maybe I could even make some new friends. I’d chalk this nostalgia up to the fact that I’m 31 (almost 32), but that would imply that I’ve grown up in the meantime, which we all fucking know is not true.

Anyway, that’s the update for now. Don’t forget to buy some books.

First off, there is one more week left in the free giveaway for the downloads of “Later, Skater.”
So far, 400 people have downloaded it. I couldn’t be happier sharing my work with you.

However, since I’m also wanting to make some financial returns on the whole process, I’m glad to say that sales have been great!

Since April 20th:

Later, Skater physical prints sold: 1
Freakshow physical prints sold: 2
Later, Skater: On Tour physical prints sold: 4
Later, Skater: On Tour downloads: 5

Now, you may not think 12 is a lot. And if I was some big-name author it wouldn’t be. But I’m not. I’m an independent author selling my wares via the internets. 12 sales in 4 days is huge with that kind of perspective.

If you haven’t yet got your copy, be it physical or download, do it before May 1st so you can take advantage of that free shipping coupon (3.99 off order) FREEMAIL305. And if you can’t buy anything right now because you don’t have money or because you’re too young to have access to a digital means for paying things (Lulu does take Paypal btw) that’s okay. It’s been my pleasure to give you “Later, Skater” this month for free.

In preparation for the release of “Later, Skater: On Tour” later this month, I thought why not just GIVE away the first one? Now, while I can’t give away actual physical copies of the novel due to the high costs of cum-resistant paper, I sure as hell can give away digital copies. So… for this month only you can download “Later Skater” for the low low price of FREE.

(There are discounts on Freakshow as well.)

I got a surprise in the mail today: Another royalty check for my first novel Pixiesticks. Yeah, I know! Now, I believe the last time I got a check was about two years ago from iUniverse. It wasn’t for much, about 25 bucks or so, but it is really nice to know that there are still copies being sold (and hopefully read) out there.

Hopefully those same people will google Jonathan Sexton and figure out that I’ve written two more: Later, Skater and Freakshow.

Oh? Did I say two more? I meant three more! Later, Skater: On Tour is still being edited, but the pieces are starting to really fall into place. I think there is no good reason why it can’t come out mid-April just like the ones before. I’m getting really psyched about it and I hope you are too! More royalty checks from Lulu would be nice. I get those one a month still, so copies are still either being sold or downloaded.

Did you know you can download copies of the books?

Not only is it cheaper,
Not only is it instant gratification,
but you’re actually supporting me more!

So check out the novels page and get ready for another healthy dose of hot boy x boy goodness with Later, Skater: On Tour next month.

So you remember that whole NaNoWriMo thing. You know, where you write a novel that’s 50,000 words in 30 days during the month of November? I’m talking about the event that for me gave birth to “Later Skater” back in 2007 and “Freakshow” in 2008 where I later cleaned them up and published?

Well, I’m finally done with 2009′s event.

Yeah, um, it took a bit longer than 30 days and it’s a bit longer than 50,000 words.

I did complete 50,000 of them during the 30 days, so I am a legit winner, of course. But, well, “Later Skater: On Tour” is (before the first bit of editing is done) 255 pages, 69,266 words long.

Now, I let it sit and fester for a little while before I attack it again with a pointy stick. Well, actually doing that is kind of old fashioned. We use computers now so it’s more like a pointy mouse arrow.

I’m so relieved. This was an undertaking to be sure. And while there is a lot of work left to be done before you can all order it and enjoy it, I’m really glad to be able to take a break from the hardcore writing schedule.

This weekend was filled with more NaNoWriMo which is funny because I thought the event was supposed to end December 1st? Ha! Ha! As Kalki likes to write. See, turns out apparently I’m so pro now at writing 50,000 words in one month that this year the story demanded to be bigger, longer, and uncut.

This may be a good thing. I got a few reviews of my writing from some people who bought previous works and they weren’t very good.

“You are naive about being gay,” said one person who read “Freakshow”. I tried to correct them, but it didn’t do any good. I said that I may be “idealistic” about being gay but hardly “naive.” I mean, how can I be naive when I am gay? I write about what I wished were true, not what is actually true. That’s idealistic. Ah well.

“I didn’t like it, but couldn’t stop reading it,” said another. This is kind of a back-handed compliment I guess. I really think it’s an interesting thing to say. Sadly, they really didn’t expand on why they didn’t like it. Maybe it was the storyline of “Later, Skater” what with it’s kind of sad ex-gay religious stuff.

He also said that he didn’t buy that Skittles is two years younger than Kalki. I tried to explain that Skittles has had to grow up faster due to the harsh reality of his upbringing in Russia, but he didn’t seem to think that was good enough. He also said that Kalki being an albino didn’t really factor in much. I tended to agree with this, but that was partly by design.

See, Kalki has to deal with being all of these things… only child, strict parents, albino, oh yeah, and he’s gay too, see, the idea is that it’s just one more layer that’s frustrating for him to overcome. I will say that in the sequel it comes up a bit more since the gay part has been kind of dealt with for him.

So, those were some comments I got this weekend about my work.

I’m still writing though. Still moving forward with the next novel called “Later, Skater: On Tour.” I’m writing the end of it now, actually. Then we’ll let it stew and fester before taking it apart for rewrites and editing. I think people will really like it.

Just, maybe, not those two people.

Feeling a little lonesome now that we’re in the holiday spirit? Cozy up to a good book…er, download. There are only a few more days left in my NaNoWriMo Month special where I’m offering downloads of either “Later, Skater” or “Freakshow” for 3 dollars.

Three dollars! Can you believe how cheap that is? And the bestest part is I am still getting my royalties, so you are still helping out a starving artist. Well, I’m not actually starving. I’m eating turkey leftovers right now actually. It’s just an expression you see.

OH! Maybe the best part can be that you don’t have to wait for shipping. I mean, it’s a download. You get it right away. You could be reading in no time!

Love love love Windows 7 over all. Yeah, it’s taking some getting used to. I mean you have to change some of your habits and make new ones using the features now at your fingertips. (For instance, that “show desktop” square sure is a long ways away on this big long new flat screen.)

There are more than a few of my, let’s call them Legacy Programs, that are unable to even install on this machine. I don’t know if there is some sort of trick to get them to work or not.

This means I’m losing some of the most basic, yet very functional programs I like to use. AOL Press and Paint Shop Pro 3 to name a couple.

I think instead of ditching my old machine, I should keep it and use it for some little work I need to go back and do from time to time. I mean, just look at that gawd awful banner I made for the NaNoWriMo book sale? Yeah, I don’t know how many 3 dollar downloads something that ugly will inspire.

Maybe out of sheer pity of it’s hideousness, perhaps.

Otherwise, it’s been a mighty good 24 hours or so with the new machine. Got MANY day to day things that I love my computer for up and running in no time flat. It’s good to see a blazing speed again. It really is. And there’s nothing wrong with a flashy new operating system either. Hell, I even made some spreadsheets to help work on those finances I’ve kind of side stepped in order to get this machine.

Of course, NaNoWriMo is just mere days away and you better believe I have THAT file created and ready to go.

Relatively soon from now, there are going to be some changes made to pixiesticks.org. Don’t freak out though! The website isn’t going anywhere and the blog is going to be here and shotalicious.org is still going to be there too.

What I’m going to do is rotate the focus of the site more towards the novels so that I can use pixiesticks more as a website to direct people curious about my writing.

Currently with the splash page, everyone gets pretty much dumped here on the blog. That was all fine and good when I didn’t give a crap about who was ever reading my website. But then the yaoi and later shota started making me a bit internet famous. So much so that I had to create a separate site for that stuff.

Now, I think with three novels done, two in the last two years, and a fourth to be written in November, I really need to either a) create a new website for that material which I really can’t afford to do or b) re-appropriate this website for that purpose.

I appreciate your patience when the changes do occur, but I assure you, nothing essentially will change.

KODINJI, India, Aug X (Reuters Life!) – Walk around Kodinji village and you’ll think that you have double vision.

The village is home to as many as 230 sets of twins. Nobody knows why there are so many twins in the village of 15,000 people, although one local doctor suspects it might be due to the water.

In fact with about 35-45 twins per live birth, this village in North Kerala, India, has four times more twins than normal. Not surprisingly, the village has been dubbed “the twin village.”

The latest official estimates by the Kodinji’s Twins and Kins Association (TAKA), which conducted door-to-door surveys at the start of the year, found that there were 204 sets of twins.

Based on births since the survey was conducted, there are probably now around 230 sets of twins in the village, locals said. That number is set to rise as there are five women pregnant with twins.

“It’s an amazing phenomenon to see a medical marvel occurring in such a localized place where the people are not exposed to any kinds of harmful drugs or harmful chemicals. It’s a virgin village,” said Dr Sribiju, a researcher.

Pathummakutty and Kunhipathutty, 65, are the oldest surviving twins in the village. The youngest are Rifa Ayesha and Ritha Ayesha, born on June 10. Their proud parents already see a slight difference between them as one lies fast asleep, while the other kicks away with a mischievous grin on her face.

Being a twin is not always easy. Pathummakutty, who like many in the village have a single name, recalls how her family struggled financially when she was a child. But she also remember good times such as laughter after yet another mix up with her twin sister.

It is not uncommon to run into an identical twin while walking down the hilly roads of Kodinji and there are many tales of teachers getting mixed up between twin students.

At the local school, 15-year-old Salmabi said teachers often confused her for her twin sister and she was once reprimanded for something that her twin did.

“It happens all the time,” the students pipe in a chorus.

Scientists are still trying to uncover the mystery of why there are so many twins in the village.

“Based on scientific facts, we feel something in the environment is causing this. It could be something in the water,” said a local doctor, M.K. Sribiju.

“All the world over the cause of twins is mainly because of drugs. Everywhere in the Western world, people are exposed to fertility drugs, their food habits, they consume more dairy products. Everywhere the age of marriage is increasing. There are late marriages predisposed to occurrence of twins,” he said.

However in Kodinji, most marriages are between people aged 18 to 20 years old.

“All the factors leading to the occurrence of twinning world wide, we cannot see it here. There is something unknown that is causing this phenomenon,” he said.

The locals also believe it is to do with the water. Kodinji is surrounded by water in the fields and during the monsoon season it becomes inaccessible from heavy rains.

As scientists try to find the reason for the large numbers of twins in the village, the parents are busy trying to tell their children apart. It doesn’t help that many of the twins have similar names and often wear similar clothes.

While parents light-heartedly point out that their twins even seem to fall sick together, not all traits are shared. Identical twins Anu and Abhi prefer different film stars and one of the boys likes to play cricket, while the other prefers kicking a soccer ball.

With all the attention being showered on the twins of Kodinji, Ajmer, a 12-year-old school boy, feels like the odd one out in a village where being a twin is trendy.

If you order my book via Lulu by clicking the banner ad above this month, I’m giving discounts. What better way to celebrate Gay Pride Month (Obama even signed a declaration of such!!) or to get started on your Summer Reading than to order books written by your favorite perverted webmaster?

Print copies of “Later, Skater” and “Freakshow” are 11 dollars each. That’s a savings of 2 dollars this month.

But the real deals come with the downloads!

You can get a digital copy of this year’s release, “Freakshow” for only 5 dollars.
Best yet, you can get a digital copy of “Later, Skater” for only 3 dollars.

THREE DOLLARS! Hell, you can’t even get a Baconator for that price. So check out the link, the previews, and do some reading (and fapping) this June and thanks!

Now you can get my two big hits (okay, more like relatively minor, yet completely satisfying successes) on Amazon.com. Now, I know we had a little scuffle just last month with that whole delisting of all the gay and lesbian authors and them fucking around with the excuses. Well, they fixed all that now and I consider this a huge apology gift. (It isn’t really, but I can pretend.)

So if you’ve been waiting for me to hit the big time, this is now your chance.

Freakshow on Amazon.com
and
Later, Skater on Amazon.com

(Of course, if you’re more in the downloading mood and want to save some dough. I’d still go that route.)

It’s been a while since I posted a personal post here so here’s a rundown of what’s been going down lately.

1. Colin and Allie are moving to Maine. They had a going away party last night that was very well attended and lots of fun. Sure, it grew bittersweet towards the end, but I am very glad for them and this new stage of their life. HINT HINT.

2. Courtney aka Elf is very well, other than screwing up her classes and not having a job. On the bright side, the current stage of a transformation is going really well I think. After all, with no current hormone treatment or voice coaching, everyone seems to be taking to Courtney extremely extremely well.

3. Met a guy last night at Heretic while hanging out with Kaze and Tatsuo. He’s Malaysian… very lovely. We had a rather enchanting evening that didn’t involve dancing to Lady Gaga unfortunately, but did lead to playful and satisfying kisses. Considering we did seem to take to one another quite nicely, I have optimistic hopes for this. I’ll try not to be disappointed if nothing comes of it, but I think it could be really quite good.

UPDATE: I talked to him on Memorial Day for about a half hour. We have tentative plans to go see the Pixar film “Up” next weekend.

4. Sales of Freakshow and Later, Skater:

32 print copies of “Later, Skater”
16 print copies of “Freakshow”
7 download copies of “Later, Skater”
8 download copies of “Freakshow”

You can get them here.

5. Money seems to be doing mostly pretty decently. I think a huge difference maker has been that I quit smoking completely. In fact, I have this little script running on my computer that reminds me how well I’m doing:

“PIXIE – Free and Healing for Two Months, Two Days, 19 Hours and 29 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days and 10 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1276 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $303.90.”

Wow… 150ish dollars a month extra in my wallet goes a long way.

FINDLAY, Ohio — A student at a fundamentalist Baptist school that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to her public high school prom, his principal said.

Despite the warning, 17-year-old Tyler Frost, who has never been to a dance before, said he plans to attend Findlay High School’s prom Saturday.

Frost, a senior at Heritage Christian School in northwest Ohio, agreed to the school’s rules when he signed a statement of cooperation at the beginning of the year, principal Tim England said.

The teen, who is scheduled to receive his diploma May 24, would be suspended from classes and receive an “incomplete” on remaining assignments, England said. Frost also would not be permitted to attend graduation but would get a diploma once he completes final exams. If Frost is involved with alcohol or sex at the prom, he will be expelled, England said.

Frost’s stepfather Stephan Johnson said the school’s rules should not apply outside the classroom.

“He deserves to wear that cap and gown,” Johnson said.

Frost said he thought he had handled the situation properly. Findlay requires students from other schools attending the prom to get a signature from their principal, which Frost did.

“I expected a short lecture about making the right decisions and not doing something stupid,” Frost said. “I thought I would get his signature and that would be the end.”

England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.

“In life, we constantly make decisions whether we are going to please self or please God. (Frost) chose one path, and the school committee chose the other,” England said.

The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music “is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people’s hearts and minds.”

England said Frost’s family should not be surprised by the school’s position.

“For the parents to claim any injustice regarding this issue is at best forgetful and at worst disingenuous,” he said. “It is our hope that the student and his parents will abide by the policies they have already agreed to.”

The principal at Findlay High School, whose graduates include Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, said he respects, but does not agree with, Heritage Christian School’s view of prom.

“I don’t see (dancing and rock music) as immoral acts,” Craig Kupferberg said.

(Ed note: “Freakshow” may be a little more far fetched, but “Later, Skater” is probably dead on truth.)

Lulu is putting Freakshow on sale from now until May 10th for 10% off. This is a sale THEY are running, which means I still get my full royalties making this a really cool deal.

How do you get your 10% off? Follow these steps.

1. Go to this address.
2. Either select the paperback copy or the digital download.
3. Copy the coupon code BESTSELLER10
4. Fill out your check out information.
5. Use the code at the end.
6. ????
7. PROFIT!!!

Granted, 10% isn’t much. On the paperback it’s $1.30 and on the download it’s a meager .70 cents. But hey, I’m just passing the word along from Lulu.

EDIT: Apparently the code doesn’t work internationally. Of course the download option may be better for those people.

So I know things haven’t exactly been very exiting over here on pixiesticks.org lately. It’s no surprise that shotalicious takes up just about all of my website making time and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, it’s like intensely popular and that makes me happy.

I did want to let you know a few personal things that have been going on. You know, for the 15 or so of you still left here.

1. I sold all 12 of my copies of “Freakshow” I bought to sell myself. Hurrah!
2. Elf is going by the name Courtney. Progress is being made there and that’s great.
3. No boys are vying for my attention currently and I’m not seeing any prospects. :(
4. Work is kind of perplexing. Mostly slow, but sometimes busy. I like the new boss.
5. ????
6. PROFIT!!!

THIRD TIME CHARMING, SEXTON BRINGS “FREAKSHOW” TO THE MASSES
New novel brings colorful story of twin acrobat teen boys in traveling circus

A duo of slender and extremely agile youths face questions about their interests in bedding local boys, carnival staff, and one another in Jonathan Sexton’s third novel. This release marks his second release in as many years!

Hadyn and Devyn Robertson find themselves at a crossroads as the circus pulls into town at a stop in Macon, Georgia. While one of the twin acrobats seem to be in love with their world of high flying action and steamy weekend long romances, the other appears to be at war with it.

When Hadyn starts to reveal his feelings may be stronger for his twin than perhaps natural, things start to unravel. The natural ebb and flow between brothers seems off and when a local boy gets tossed into the mix, things get downright ugly.

“‘Freakshow’ initially was intended to be very free spirited,” Jonathan Sexton goes on to explain, “but as the story was crafted and worked over, a real raw heart appeared at its core that I’m quite proud of.”

The novel is printed by Lulu.com a Print On Demand resource that is giving a voice to thousands of independent minded artists.

In addition to a physical release, ‘Freakshow’ is also being offered as a digital download, a first for Sexton.

“I was leery at first, but then I realized I really only want to get this in as many hands as possible.” Sexton adds, “Not being in a physical book store brings you certain limitations you want to try and help overcome for the fans.”

His previous work, ‘Later, Skater’ is also being released as a digital download simultaneously.

When I talked to Allen last night at Heretic, he told me that my books weren’t going to be allowed to be back at the Heretic Leather shop this time around. I spontaneously burst into tears like an uke being told they weren’t ever loved in spite of deep dicking every night of the week.

He told me to calm down, but I really couldn’t until I went outside and was consoled by two unlikely people: Mysterious Asian Dancer and his boyfriend back from a trip to Vietnam.

See, I wasn’t really crying because of the books or because I felt like I was being dissed by a company and by people that I thought were my friends now. Allen said that -none- of the consignment items were allowed now back in the shop after Danny passed away.

That’s the reason for the tears.

Danny.

He was the manager of Heretic Leathers (and I’ve since learned, co-founder of the Panthers, a leather and Levi fund raising fraternity.) He’d also become a friend of mine, especially in the year and a half since writing “Later, Skater.” He allowed me to put it back in the shop on consignment and part of the proceeds would go to help the Rainbow House, a favorite charity of Danny’s.

But Danny passed away on March 13th. And while I felt very terrible the Friday I learned, I knew he’d want us to keep on dancing. Besides, I knew that I’d have a new book soon in his shop and that’d be an even cooler way to keep his memory going.

Except last night I learned I won’t. Cue the waterworks.

Afterwards, I found Allen and told him that he didn’t have to try and plead my case to the owners of Heretic, even though he said earlier that he would. For one, I didn’t think it would do any good. You can’t really make an exception for just one person. But because I thought I’d done my mourning now, and Danny would deal with this kind of roadblock I’m sure just like I can.

I knew I’d miss Danny. I didn’t really think about it right away. And I was so fascinated to learn so much more about his life during the memorial last Saturday to feel that sad about it. But it certainly hit last night in the most terrible way.

“Freakshow” goes on sale Friday, April 17th online and in person, but it won’t be at any store this time around. Not even Heretic Leathers.

Goodbye Danny and thanks.

I’ve redone the old works page in an attempt to really jazz it up and make it look all pretty. You can find the link where you used to, over on the left hand side. It’s called “Novels” now instead of “Works” though you can still find the poetry and short stories there too.

Tell me, faithful readers, it’s nearly been a year now for my last novel, “Later, Skater” and I’ve sold around 35 copies. Is that a success? Is it a failure? These aren’t really questions I concern myself with.

What I want to know today is if “Later, Skater” was made available as an e-book (essentially a PDF file) on Lulu that you could download and read and enjoy and fap to, for $5 dollars, would there be many takers?

Many authors have gone down this route while many others do not approve of it. I’m the Pixie of the People so I want to ask you, my fans, what you think.

5 dollars via credit card or paypal to Lulu.
You get to download “Later, Skater” as a PDF file.
No shipping. No handling. No physical book to be toting around.
And best yet this would work internationally.

What say you? Leave comments on this post, via the tag-board, or email.

PS: If you think this is a great idea, do you think I should release “Freakshow” the same way immediately or wait for a while?

April is upon us and while I know the saying goes, April Showers bring May Flowers, I’ve had enough of this rain we’ve been having here in the ATL. Yeah, yeah, I know it helps the drought, but I like having dry days too you know?

This month should see the impending release of “Freakshow,” my newest novel. I’m supposed to go see the cover artist Elf today and that should bring this all to a head. No pun intended, though I wouldn’t mind a lil’ of that either.

It was a pretty mixed up weekend.

Starting out Friday by doing my usual small shift at work. After checking my bank balances, I quickly learn that my income tax refund has arrived. Hurrah! So that evening I decide to go to Rocky Horror Picture Show for my 57th viewing of the masterpiece.

It’s still a rocking good time with lots of people showing up for the exploits of Brad (asshole) and Janet (slut).

The crowd is young though. I suppose it always was.

Saturday involved me editing some more of “Freak Show” both here at home and in the early evening at Heretic. I got about 40 pages done which is good.

Later at Heretic, I continued lamenting that boys suck, and not in the good creamy way. While seeing Mik was nice, dancing with him nice, and talking with him nice, other hotties were not so nice. Or rather, just not interested. That’s okay. I apparently can survive without practicing my homosexuality.

I would like to though.

Today I ventured to see Elf which is more of an event than ever since it never happens with regularity anymore. I’m certainly not in the same place I was before where my feelings for him are concerned. I do still like him, of course. But it’s not an obsession.

We laid out the concepts for “Freak Show’s” cover and watched a bad movie on hulu called “Terror Is Man.”

Moving in the short short month of February, most folks start melting at least their hearts from winter’s harshness. Here at pixiesticks, I’ll be trying harder to get on editing “Freak Show” so I can make my publishing deadline.

I’m also going to try and insert more of myself in the news blog postings as well. Hope you have a great Valentine’s Day and rest of February.

Editing has now begun on “Freakshow” my new upcoming novel about twin teenage acrobats in a traveling carnival.

Don’t forget you can still order a copy of “Later, Skater” for 13 dollars plus shipping by clicking on the banner above. 30 copies of the independent work I published last May have been sold to date. If reading more books was one of your New Years’ Resolutions or just want a great sexy story to enjoy, please pick a copy up!

I have reached 50,000 words.
In fact, “Freakshow” comes in at a nail bitingly close 50,033 words.
But you know who benefits from a sex scene that I just had to keep adding to in order to make the cut tonight like I wanted to? WE ALL DO!

Thanks so much for being patient with me as I took the time to write this novel over the past 25 days. This is my second time doing this project and I beat last year’s time by two days.

I especially want to thank the following people:

Stephie, DJ Kaze and Tatsuo, Bartender Paul, Fang and Nemo, and Mike76. Collectively you are all such an inspiration to making this thing come out into this admittedly rough first draft but a complete novel nevertheless. Thank you!

Here is your final “Freakshow” excerpt. After this, I’ll be putting the novel away for about a month and then break it back out in 09 for the editing process.

I grin mischievously, and then capturing my twin’s eyes, I kind of nudge my head back towards the inside of our trailer we use as our makeshift home.

“Can’t even wait until after dinner, huh?”

“Nuh-uh.” I giggle.

Then, as Devyn draws his legs up, turns, and crawls back toward our mattress, he looks back to me pulling the door mostly closed. “Maybe people’ll appreciate our act even more.”

“How do you mean?” The back of the semi-trailer goes to near pitch darkness for a moment. I touch and feel my way toward the corner and then pull on the string to click on the light. Devyn is already on the bed, lounging, looking up at me with delicious eyes.

“Well,” He takes off his shirt as I approach and I can see that his bandages weren’t blood soaked as I’d feared. Perhaps my brother was stronger than I gave him credit for. “We’re going to be doing our usual extremely challenging juggling and acrobatic act in our,” he giggles, “teal lycra shorts.”

“Are they even really shorts?” I interject, reaching for the button of Devyn’s jeans.
“No, they aren’t really. They’re not even as long as underwear.” He raises his ass and lets me pull his clothes off him. His underwear gets tugged down partially, but don’t come the rest of the way off. “Anyway, we’re doing our performance practically naked in the center of the ring, and we’ve always had our eyes locked on one another except for the times we’re accepting applause and bowing for the audience.”

“I’ve always checked out your butt then.”

“What?!” Devyn squirms as my fingers pull at the elastic of his underwear. His muscled hips bulge as he’s practically kicking at me while I strip him.

“Yup. Sometimes when we’re taking our bows, especially at the end of the show when we’re bowing really deeply. I’ve totally checked out your ass.”

Devyn giggles. “That’s silly. You can check out my ass anytime you want.” Even as he speaking, he’s rolling on his side allowing me a delightful view of his bare bottom. I reach over and run my fingers along the split.

“Yeah well, before you would’ve been crazy about it apparently. Roll over onto your stomach.” I give him instruction, but add quickly, “But only if it doesn’t hurt your stitches.”

“Nah, I’m fine.” Devyn does as I ask, lying on the mattress flatly on his belly. At first his head is turned away from me, but he quickly turns it to peer back at me. “I had no idea what you were really asking of me on the drive up here, I have to admit.”

“It’s okay now.” I strip of my jeans and my excessively wrinkled shirt. Hooking thumbs along my underwear, those come down quickly as well. “I actually at the time wasn’t thinking all of this would happen either. I just saw you all the time with these boys and remembered when we were younger…” I trail off, suddenly caught again in that memory.
Devyn reaches over and wisps light touches across my naked thigh. “It’s okay, Haddy. We’re on the same page now.”

I blink. My eyes glance down to Devyn who’s looking back up to me a warm smile on his face. My own lips mirror that smile, and I remove my clothes the rest of the way.

Positioning my body between his legs, I use my knees to spread his apart a bit more. Then, leaning down, with my hands going to part his cheeks, I run my tongue along his cleft diligently until I pierce his quivering place.

Devyn’s back arches a bit and he gasps with the sudden but deeply erotic act. “Ooh, Haddy.”

“You like it?” I murmur with my head still dipped lowly between the delicate curves of his bottom. The vibrations and hot breath seem to incite him more.

“Ooh, yes.” Returning to lay his head down on his arms, he chuckles a little even as I’m licking and kissing him there again and again. “I have to say, I never expected to be on the receiving end of this.”

Reluctantly, my attentions are pulled from where I’m coaxing the opening to relax more. “You always gave it to the local boys?”

“Uh-huh. Ohh!” He squirmed a little, shifting his butt back and forth a little in my hands.

I grab and squeeze them, molding the flesh more forcefully, as I lick and kiss lower along his balls and inside of his thighs. I finally rise up, slicken up one of my hands with my mouth, and caress my own eager sex.

“I guess I’m okay with it. If you want to do me, I mean.” Devyn’s turned to face the other direction now. Hands unfolded from underneath his head. He brings one back to lightly graze along my leg which I’m raised up on now.

“Good.” I giggle even as I’m positioning myself. Stroking my flesh, I steadily bring myself closer to my twin’s rear. With gentle persistence, he’s relaxing and my cock disappears within his flesh. The heat so intense, it makes me moan even as I’m pushing myself completely forward inside.

“Oooh!” Devyn’s outcry is more of a surprised gasp. While he’d certainly felt my presence up behind him, and his body even had raised his ass up just marginally to allow even more access to him, he’d not quite really expected what it’d feel like. Kyle hadn’t quite got this far earlier. He squinted his eyes closed and I could tell he was fighting the urge to tense up.

“Ryalax, Devyn.” I coo to him. After I’ve fully sunk my inches inside, I hold there for a moment. “Tyell mey wheyn tyo gyo agyian.”

It seemed like a good long moment, before he grunted that it hurt. “I don’t know. It hurts, Haddy.” Twisting his head back to look back to me, he then bit his bottom lip and nodded. “Okay,” he breathed.

A slight withdraw, I then lean down, bracing my weight on my arms on either side of my twin. Head dropping down, I peer down at where our bodies connected. Then, with a grinding of my thighs, I push inside further. I feel more of his muscles yielding to me, and it feels so deliriously good.

“Ah… Oh… Ah…” Devyn punctuates his breathing with audible responses to his side of the pleasure in which he’s had to fight through the pain for. But after several strides, and a withdrawal to add more saliva, my boyishness is once again inside thrusting away.

I spread his legs a bit more with my own, and surprisingly I feel him rising up to his knees underneath. I encourage him, and get even more penetration of his more exposed vulnerable ass. Sliding my hands very gently down his sides, rubbing up more aggressively against his back, I eventually am grasping his shoulders while thrusting into him. I can hear over our panting and his oohs and ahhs the curiously delightful sound of my flesh striking his in a hard rhythmic slapping sound.

I giggle and through his sighs, he asks, “What is it?”

“A sound.”

“Oh?”

“Slap, slap, slap, slap.” I mimic the noise without letting up the hard thrust from behind. Devyn’s muscles are taut against my own; he’s pushing back against my hardness strongly.

“Shut up!” Devyn laughs, then gasps at a particularly deep push inside. It’s wince inducing, but it must have actually felt great because he’s rising up further, practically up on my bent knees. He bounces roughly and my cock goes far within him, encouraged further by the churning of his rear. The muscles practically coax and embrace a harder, more forceful fuck.

“Oh Devyn!” My eyes glaze over with passion. I reach one hand across his chest, the other going to turn his head toward me so I can kiss him.

“Mmm, Haddy.” Even though he’s been forced to take his own prick in hand, his tongue and lips seem as eager to kiss me back. I know there has to be a pierce of pain from where he’s twisted in my arms, but the satisfying pleasure of our sex must have certainly been overcoming it.

Rapturous orgasm surged throughout me, and I seem to find just a fraction deeper I can go within my twin. The quiver in my groin tickles as the spring snaps and I squeeze off pulses of pleasure into his guts. It’s a savage, harsh thing, but it felt incredibly intense. So much so that my entire body shivers with erotic bliss.

Fully encased within him, Devyn finds his own climax seconds later. My hot eruption inside along with the deep, difficult kisses make the boyishness between two of his fingers stiffen and flex. Dirtying up our mattress yet again, Devyn laces the sheet with stickiness that arches high into the air.

I withdraw from him, but am quick to pull him to me as I’m collapsing to the mattress. Not caring about getting messier, all I want to do is lay with him and hold him securely. He’s shivering, and obliges.

“That was insane.” Still breathing quite hard, his leg twitches a little. “That was really crazy.”

“Insane good? Crazy good?” I can’t help but return slightly to my consistently worried self. After all, while I may have learned and changed a lot, I was still myself.

“Yes, good.” He chuckled. Devyn’s chest had finally stopped rising and falling so rapidly within my grasp. He turned over and faced me, wincing just a little as the wound jabbed a bit at him again. Or maybe it was the fact that I’d just drilled him so succinctly?

I smile and regard him in silence much as he did me. It seemed for a moment we were mirror images of one another. I’d brush a little of his sweaty hair, and he’d do the same in return. My hand would slide up and down his arm and momentarily he’d do the same.

I pulled back just a little, just so my eyes could glance down between our bodies. Our bared flesh were identical landscapes besides the fact Devyn had his bandages and I was more lightly scraped up from my climb up the Ferris Wheel. Delicately, I reach down and hold his softened parts.

He inhaled sharply and held his breath as I touched him there, but he said nothing. Rather, after a few moments, he reached down as well. His eyes eventually captured my gaze just as he held my sex tenderly in hand. Neither one of us stroked one another; we simply held that private part of each other.

“I love you, Haddy. I love you and I love this, but it feels so intense. It feels like it is so much. I hope, no, I feel like it’ll burn us again.” My brother was the first to speak, and amazingly enough he said exactly what I was thinking.

“We are all we ever really had, you know?”

“I know. I think we are all we’ll ever have too.”

“Are we going to end up like Don and Charles and be a part of this circus for decades? Long time partners who, overlooking their dumbass actions earlier today, are wonderful and content.”

Devyn gave my cock a little squeeze, “Stay focused, Haddy.”

My body jerks slightly and I giggle before giving Devyn a squeeze back. “I am focused. I’m serious. I’m very serious.”

“What are we deciding then?” It seemed spoken with quite a lot of reluctance in those green eyes. His gaze had once again fallen on mine and I couldn’t do anything but stare back at him filled with love and desire.

“I want it to be you and me.”

“You and me then.” Devyn’s reply came almost instantaneously.

I giggle, then add, “And others if we both decide?”

Devyn laughs and bobs his head up and down, “Sure, sure.” Releasing his hold on my prick, he then sits up. “I mean they’re Kyle to consider in the fall.”

“Halloween. It has to be Halloween!” I mimic him while offering my twin his previously discarded clothes.

I’m reaching the home stretch of this years NaNoWriMo, the month long novel writing campaign where “Later, Skater” was born last year. This time around, I’m working on a novel about twin acrobat boys who work in a traveling circus. It’s filled with a lot of steamy action as well as a healthy amount of exciting suspense.

Here’s another excerpt:

“Sweetie, I’m here to get you down.”

He response was just to scream and cry some more while a loud clap of thunder sounded all around us. Fortunately though the wind was relaxing some and the rain wasn’t nearly needlelike as it pelted my bare skin.

“Honey, what’s your name? I’m Hadyn, I’m an acrobat in this circus. Do you know what acrobats are?” I tried to calm her, of course. This rescue was going to go nowhere fast and with probable fatal results if she freaked out on me while we were heading down.

“Y- You do flips?” Her voice was meek and tender, nearly cracking from all of her yelling and sobbing.

“That’s right. I can juggle and do flips and summersaults.” In spite of my precarious position, clinging to the car as well as a large metal spoke that I very well knew could attract more lightning, I couldn’t help but smile. “What’s your name?”

“Mara,” came the sweet reply followed by a blood curdling scream as lightning once again fractured the sky with its blinding light.

“Mara, honey, we’re gonna get down now, okay? But you have to promise to hold on tight and close your eyes the whole time.”

“Huh? How?” I couldn’t blame her for being unsure how I planned on accomplishing bringing her back down to the security of the ground.

“I want you to climb onto my back and wrap your arms and legs around me really, really tight. Do you think you can crawl over onto my back?”
“Um. Uh-huh.” She started to move closer to me from where she’d been ducked underneath the curved hood of the Ferris Wheel car. “Like a piggy back ride?”

“Exactly!” I grin broadly at her.

Slowly Mara put one leg over the edge of the car as well as placed one of her arms about my neck that I leaned closer for her to grab. It was precarious to be certain, but with a bit of slow patience she seemed to grasp the concept very well. If only she hadn’t put her second arm so tightly about my neck as she fully exited the car and was completely wrapped about my back.

“Mara, honey,” sounding as every bit choked that I was, I tried to be gentle. “You have to move your hands lower, not around my throat.”

“Oh! Sorry!”

I could feel her weight shifting as she adjusted her looped arms about my neck. She didn’t weigh much at all, and the wind had died down considerably, but I still felt like she would pull us backwards off the Ferris Wheel.

“Okay, you got a good grip?” I turn my head slightly, my eyes trying to capture a look of hers. Deep, solid, focused eye contact was how every single performance was accomplished up until last night, and I was bound to get this girl back to safety.

“Uh-huh.” Her eyes bright shimmering hazel looked back to my green ones before she closed them tightly and nuzzled against my neck. For better or worse, this nine-year-old had decided to put her trust in me and had committed to its end.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply once more and started to plan my descent. Finding it easier to come back the way I’d came, not across the center spokes but in more of a half-moon shape, I start heading diagonally down. After doing to one knee and stepping down to the next lower platform, I realized just how difficult going down was going to be as compared to up. Still, the weather was starting to cooperate a lot more with less rain to slicken the metal platforms.

I heard the voices down below a lot more clearly once the wind had calmed and the thunderclaps weren’t as numerous. Devyn was talking to Kyle. I could clearly make out the fact that both boys had faith in me and that was reassuring. While I couldn’t exactly look to see them, I felt they were likely standing there in each other’s arms, waiting anxiously for me to touch ground again. Kyle had turned out to be so much more than just another local boy for us both.

Vydden seemed to be joined by Min by this point. Apparently my actions were so dramatic it’d caused the fireworks technician to start ranting up at me in his native Korean tongue. Hearing Vydden tell him to shut up every now and then very nearly made me laugh even as I was reaching for another hand-hold lower than the last.

In the distance a siren started to sound. Unfortunately it didn’t sound like the ones on fire trucks either. Not knowing exactly what it was, it made me nervous. Having Mara scream again in my ear didn’t help at all either and I made another mistake in judging just how thin a platform I’d chosen was.

Below there was a collective gasp, and I think I even heard Peace, the Fortune Teller, shriek. Becoming even more disoriented, my hand darted out and I completely jammed my fingers against a flat thick piece of metal.

“Yeoowww!!” My own scream joined the cacophony of sound.

Mara tightened her legs about my waist. I thought she was becoming loose, when she opened up one of her balled fists. But instead she was placing the hot palm against my chest and almost petting me where below my heart had leapt into racing.
“It’s okay. We didn’t fall. It’s okay.” Her voice quivered.

“Okay. Okay, thanks Mara. Man, that fucking hurts.” I shake my hand, trying to get the tingling to go away from the digits.

Mara giggled and whispered quietly into the shell of my right ear, “Ooh, you said a bad word.”

It seemed to be like a panacea for what ailed me, her laughter. I licked my lips and grinned broadly while claiming that next handhold I’d been aiming for as my own. “Mara, we’re getting the fuck off this thing. Hold on.”

Her hand returned to where she previously was grasping my neck, and I saw her squeeze her eyes tightly again.

A few more platforms lower with no more incidents, I saw just close we were. It was a huge relief that washed over me when I realized that no matter what happened at this point if we fell we wouldn’t likely die.

Except the growing crowd of people below seemed more emotionally agitated than ever. Hadyn and Kyle were both screaming up at me things I couldn’t understand in the commotion. Vydden and Amon were shouting as well before I did distinctly hear the mustached man say to Amon, “We got to get everyone inside, that thing is coming right for us.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant and I was starting to be less careful about where I put my feet on those slick platforms. I decided to pause on one of the wider ones, and turn my head to take a look behind me. Lightning continued to occasionally bring light to the extremely dark skies. And it was from that jagged light source that I saw the funnel cloud several miles in the distance lazily falling from the sky.

The month continues along and I’m somewhere in the upper 30,000 range, nearing 40,000 at a pretty rapid clip. As I’ve been saying, I’m sorry for the lack of enthusiastic updates over on shotalicious.org, but priorities first lay in completing this novel.

Here is another excerpt to keep you entertained.

All I could see in my field of vision was red. Red, blinding light that surprisingly didn’t blind me completely in my racing towards our trailer. Even while the rain splatters began to sink through my clothing, I paid no attention at all. Dodging past several young children, ignoring a call from someone to slow down, I passed the outer edges of the tents that comprised our carnival.

Turning, I raced between the semi-trailers. My hands were tightly balled into fists and they pumped along my sides as I ran. All that I could think about was severing myself from Hadyn. All of the years of him hiding behind me, I finally realized was just him judging where best to place the knife in my back.

Rounding the corner, I very nearly fall as I skid to a stop on the oil slick wet pavement. Standing at the back door of our trailer with his hands folded across his chest rather disapprovingly was the squat but muscular fireworks technician, Min.

“Not in the mood, Min.” I barked at the man.

“I wouldn’t imagine so.” His reply came across as flippant, even though he normally had the most sympathy for me. It enraged me more.

Slapping an open hand against the door of the trailer and not even feeling the harsh sting, I shout at him, “You don’t understand what he’s done, Min. He’s betrayed me by pretending to be me. And worse he’s all mixed up with who and what he wants. So just move out of the way and butt out of my business.”

The Korean man shrugged his bare shoulders. The wife beater he was wearing was only getting more soaked by the moment as the light rain continued.

Giving him a sideways glare, I move closer to the door and slide it open. The height of the back of the trailer never seemed higher and I wrinkled my nose realizing that I’d not make it without ripping my stitches. It only made me angrier. “Can you give me a boost or are you just going to stand there and judge me like you always do?”

Min ran his tongue along the inside of his top set of teeth, stung by my insult but also considering my impolite demand. Stepping closer to the trailer, he leaned forward a bit, but didn’t otherwise kept his arms across his chest.

“Stellar.” I remark sarcastically. Then, using his thick meaty shoulder for support, I painfully climb up into the back of the trailer.

“So you and Haddy are through?” Min’s words were a lot quieter and almost lost in the sound of the raindrops on the semi’s roof.

I turn around and regard the fireworks specialist with a bit of skepticism. “Look, I don’t know what you’re doing here, but seriously, go away. All right? Go away!” After dismissing him completely, I march to the large trunks that held our things. Opening one with a bit of a grunt, the pain from my wound returning with a biting viciousness, I start to root through it, tossing some clothing back behind me onto the unmade bed.

Min must have left as I’d asked, because he didn’t say anything else, nor did he try to come into the trailer to stop me. For quite a while I was left in near silence to stew further about what I intended to do. Outside, the rain continued to fall, seemingly heavier at times. It annoyed me too, since it meant I’d be walking in the downpour.

Just as I’d bundled up a pair of jeans, shorts, underwear, and two shirts in the bed sheet, I started to poke around the back of the trailer looking for a long stick to attach the whole thing to. It was then that someone else climbed into the trailer. He marched right past the bed and my bundle, past the open trunks of our belongings, and came right at me.
“You bastard!” It was Hadyn’s screaming at the top of his lungs. The angry curse echoed strongly in the trailer. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the collection of wooden sticks, rope, and ladders we had for previous acrobatic routines.

“Ow!” The yanking did my bandaged wound no favors. I glanced down and noticed they were already seeping with a bit of blood against the soaked, but drying t-shirt.

Once he had pulled me back out of the back of the trailer, he pushed me hard back towards the middle and our main living space. While my eyes probably were coated with pain and resolve at my decided action, his were filled with the rage. No doubt the look was quite the same as my own moments prior.

“You remember our mother? How she used to beat you with her shoe when she caught you doing things?” Hadyn’s voice was strong, and didn’t have the quivering crack in it like perhaps it would have before today. It had strengthened from its use.

“Haddy.” I tried to interrupt him but it was no use. I’d riled him up something fierce and with the shiver of pain running up my side, I was worried he’d hurt me far worse than my little shove had earlier.

“Shut up!” Striking me hard against my chest with the palms of both of his hands, I went falling backwards.

Landing next to the bundle of the clothes on the bed, my small frame bounced a bit. My elbows shoot back to catch my fall; I lay with one leg bent, the other straight, halfway off the mattress. My eyes wide, I look up at my brother towering over me. I’m scared to move.

“She hated us Devyn. Our mother called us demons. We were wild demons that jumped off the roof, wrestled hard in the backyard or the bed. She dumped us off at Vydden’s doorstep when she caught you and me jerking each other off. Do you remember that?” Hadyn’s face was red and his eyes redder, tears started streaming down his cheeks.

But all I could do was sit there and stare up at him in dumbfounded silence. The memory of that day seemed different in my mind, but maybe Hadyn had it right. He couldn’t remember who it was that was always standing up and defending the other back then.

“And then you grab me, wretch my hands…” My twin’s body lurched forward. One knee up against my straightened limb, his other brought down much higher along the bent one. As his lithe frame came down, he spread my legs apart and he didn’t stop coming down upon me until his body was flush up against mine. His green eyes blurred by the tears were inches away from my wide-eyed gaze. Was he really on top of me? “You tell me you don’t love me? We’ve been together this whole time, Dev. We’ve slept together, bathed together, we know each other like no one else, Dev.”

I wince as nearly uncontrollably I feel a stiffing in my groin. His body pushed up against my own, I even perceive that every few syllables he’s deliberately grinding his hips forward.

“So don’t tell me you don’t love me! Or, that if you don’t that it’s wrong how I feel about you, Dev. You understand?”

His hard stare down at me is broken only for mere moments as he glances to see my hands starting to rise up, as I’m about to push him off no matter the stitches in my side.

Quickly he’s grabbing at my wrists and despite everything people may have thought of Hadyn during the routines, he wasn’t the one who did the more dramatic of our stunts because he looked a bit more feminine or had a more graceful physique. He had more power than I. Struggling underneath his even more strengthened pin, I grunt.

Hadyn likely felt he had me then. He absolutely began to grind his hips forward, rubbing his body down against mine. Feeling the jutting hardness despite our clothing, only gave him more incentive that I was being turned on by this. And I couldn’t completely say I wasn’t for certain. He held my stare, one of the things even Vydden had said we’d lost during that terrible finale. But he stopped shouting at me.

In fact, he stopped saying anything at all. Instead the only noises were the rain striking the roof of the trailer at heavier intervals, my occasional grunts, and his increasingly stronger breathing.

With his bottom rising and falling, he wedged between my legs even more. His frame and pushing had brought me more completely on the mattress, and so Hadyn had crept even further as well. His hands on my wrists above my head ached, and the waves of pain radiating from my side hurt, but where his rigid cock rode along my own within our clothing there was actually something that didn’t feel like agony.

I don’t exactly know what happened. I should have been engulfed in returning rage against my twin brother. He’d thrown me down, yelled at me, and now was dry humping me. But Hadyn being so strong, so bold, and maybe even so right, made me begin to acquiesce.

Hello lovelies, today is the halfway point for NaNoWriMo the month long frenzied novel writing campaign. By the end of tonight if you’re following along at home, you should be at 25,000 words. After todays writing for “Freakshow” in which an excerpt follows, I’m at a hair under 30,000 words at 29937. That means while I still have quite a ways to go, I’m very solidly ahead. Yay! Good luck with your noveling and thanks for your support this month.

I wasn’t sure when the fireworks technician and my dear friend left us alone, but I do know that I couldn’t believe that Hadyn was speaking to me as he was. His hands eventually collected mine and drew me inside of the semi-trailer that was our make-shift home. The trailer’s door once again being mostly closed casting long shadows up within our space.

“Hadyn, are you okay? You looked so angry. I’m so sorry I botched our finale. I won’t make any excuses. I really just screwed it up.” I couldn’t help but gush in my seemingly never ending apologies. I only just noticed that he wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. Had he come to the door that way? Min must have been so embarrassed.

I knew that my brother had begun to feel a deeper kinship with me. He’d developed a sexual fascination with our relationship and I’d earlier obliged him with some of that. But now, even as he brought me to our bed and encouraged me to lie down, rest, and start to heal, I wasn’t really thinking too much on that. All I really wanted him to do was forgive me for letting him down.

“Dev.” His breath was warm as he whispered into my ear.

“Haddy” I murmured. Turning my head to face him, our eyes locked and we gazed at one another, as we were so prone to do. But there was something different about my twin. The sparkle and radiance was there, though seemingly tweaked by something I wasn’t sure. And he was not focused. The dark pupils and green irises fluttered about as if nervous.

“Dev. I’ve done something against you.” Hadyn’s voice trembled and nearly cracked, but considering he was actually still using it, I had a hard time considering the words and their meanings.

“What is it, Haddy? What have you done.”

His admission rushed out of him like a torrent that had only been barely held back by an improbable dam. “Devyn, when you let me fall, I knew it was over. I was already angry. We were already fighting. And then you didn’t even try and catch me?”

“I’m sorry.” I breathe the apology once more.

“I was glad you got hurt. I was glad you were going to the clinic and I feel so terrible about being happy about those things.” Hadyn continued, now predictably beginning to cry. The tears spilled from his eyes and ran onto the pillow, spreading immediately upon impact.

“You had every right to be angry.” I try to comfort him. My hand, in spite of the dull pound of pain it caused, reached over to try and caress his cheek.

Surprisingly, he batted my hand away. “No, Devyn. I really thought that we were done. You didn’t just miss the catch, you didn’t even try!”

With a sigh, wince, and then a grunt, I turn again to lie on my back. Apparently my twin was still bitterly upset and it wasn’t going to be awhile before I could say anything or do anything to make that any better.

“So when I meet up with Kyle and he thinks I’m you, I don’t tell him otherwise.” Hadyn continued.

My heart skips several beats as I consider what Hadyn tells me. “You pretended to be me with Kyle?”

“I did. I brought him back and had sex with him. Just like you would have.” The spiteful tone spoke volumes.

Sitting up, I ignore the jolt of pain it sends surging through my body. Glaring back at him, I wrinkle my nose and retort, “I never bring boys back here. I respect that this trailer belongs to be the both of us! And where do you get off impersonating me, Haddy!”

“It was fantastic, Devyn. He is so adorable. He’s so beautiful. I mean his skin is smooth and delicate. When he was on top of me, it was so… intense.”

“Oh brilliant, Haddy. You aren’t satisfied with screwing with my head claiming how much you love me, asking me to jerk you off, enticing me to suck you off, but now you pretend to be me to get with my local boy?” I was livid! So outraged that things had fallen so far, I was filled with my own pool of anger. Surely this is what Vydden was talking about.

“Fair is fair, Dev. Besides, I didn’t let him keep thinking I was you.” Hadyn reached up to grab my hand even as I was getting up out of the bed. I batted it away and started to walk to the back of the trailer. My twin got up and followed me continuing, “I told him afterward and he said everything was cool.”

“Everything was cool?” I glare at Hadyn incredulously. Then regarding him, I look his body up and down, measuring how much I wanted to fight him even with fresh stitches in my side. I realize once again that he’s completely nude. “He sure changed you though. You’re using your words, speaking so clearly too. And he’s got you sleeping in the nude too!” I growl at my brother, but considering he starts to giggle, I’m obviously not making any impact.

Hadyn put his hand on mine where I was trying to pull the back door of the trailer open. “Look, Dev, he’ll be back tomorrow and I think he’d like to be with us both actually.”

My twin was clearly out of his mind. I snap at him angerly, “I don’t think so Haddy. You want him, you keep him. Now let me go!”

“Why? I say we’re even now, I mean don’t you think?” His grip on mine as I was grasping the handle of the trailer’s door started to hurt.

“Fine. We’re even. Now let me go!” Impulsively I head butt Hadyn’s shoulder knocking him back several steps. His hand flails in an attempt to hold on to the door, but I shove it open quickly. Even though it hurts more than since I first injured myself, I leap out of the back of the truck.

“Ow! Devyn! Where are you going?!” Hadyn yells down at me. He’s standing there completely naked, one hand draped across his chest rubbing at my shoulder blade where I’d knocked him back. The moonlight from the near dawn sky illuminates his pale skin. The thin frame is so very elegant and beautiful. His chest heaves from our fight, his waist drawing tight, and his delicate boyishness sweetly hanging just within reach.

I cast an angry glare back up at him. I suck my bottom lip, teeth glimmer as I bite down hard. But even though I feel so completely frustrated with everything involving him, I can’t help but find myself looking up at his bare body in a different light.
Apparently, I’ve been just standing there staring up at him for a long moment without responding. Hadyn jumps off the back of the trailer as well, uncaring of his state of undress and who might see. He puts his arms about my stomach, very low so as not to disturb my bandages. He hugs me gently, so very tenderly. But when looks as if he’s to put his lips upon mine, I pull away.

“I’m sleeping in the cab.”

Hadyn’s hands drop to his sides and he remains planted firmly where he stood. He’d forgiven me for completely dropping him and while he was attempting to get retribution by impersonating me with Kyle, I think he’d found a large piece of himself. Perhaps it was a part that didn’t require me? I fall back a few steps, then turn, heading to the front of the semi-trailer intending on following through with my statement. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but perhaps some solitude was what I needed most right now.

Erin gasped very lightly as she moved to take a bigger, yet gentle hold of my privates barely encased in the teal outfit. She gave the length and pearls a slight squeeze. Her eyes drifted off my face and she looked down to what she was doing.

It felt good, I suppose. But actually, when her fingertips moved to the waistband of the shorts and she started to peel them off of my hips, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to play this game anymore. I wrinkled my nose, and made a little grunting sound. It only encouraged her further, apparently.

With both of her hands, she coaxed the clinging material down further. After my shorts were halfway down my ass, she reached within the front and withdrew my boyishness. Fascinated with her handiwork, she lolled the testis in one hand while beginning to manipulate the shaft with the other. Despite her best intentions, however, I didn’t remain hard. In fact, I was getting more flaccid by the moment.

When she took a moment’s pause to pull down the shorts further, her fingernails brushed across my bottom. That was a little thrill that reminded me where my interests really lay.

So when Erin looked as if she was going to kneel down in front of me, even though we were only in somewhat secluded privacy in the dressing area of the large tent, I was hesitant to let her put her mouth on me there.

“Oooh, um, whoa. Hold up.” I stammer. One of my hands going to gently push at her collarbone, the other thrusting downward in a flailing attempt to grasp and yank back up the tiny lycra shorts.

“What’s wrong?” She looks up to me earnestly. “Too public? Too soon? I know you like me Devyn, you’ve made that pretty obvious recently but today I don’t know what’s gotten into you.” Erin stands, but withdraws, going back to that pacing she was doing before I’d even entered. Without letting me getting a word in edge wise, she pauses and looks to me. “I like you too, Devyn. I wasn’t sure about it but I decided that it’s okay that you’re a bit younger and wild at times. It’s okay even that we work together, even though that’s never worked out before in my entire life.” Erin started to laugh. It sounded like it had the hint of sad desperation to it. I frowned.

I wasn’t sure how much more I wanted to masquerade around as Devyn then. Erin had very nearly given me a blow job thinking that I was him. And she certainly just proclaimed her love for him. I shook my head, sighed, and reached for my regular clothes that the seamstress Sandra had found and folded neatly for the boys.

“You don’t feel the same anymore?” Erin asked, looking more and more troubled by the moment.

“I… I…” Unsure of what I wanted to say, unfortunately the truth came out. I didn’t tell her that she was not talking with Devyn like she thought. No, I told her my truth about how I felt. “I love my brother.”

It seemed to stun her pretty solidly enough. Putting the clothes under my arm, I decided then I could manage walking through the carnival at this late hour still wearing the now a bit ruffled teal shorts. I duck under the half-fallen flaps of the dressing area of the largest tent and leave Erin there with her confused thoughts. I’m glad she doesn’t follow.

But I didn’t get to walk back to the trailer without further incident. Just as I was passing the Merry-Go-Round, someone started calling out my name. Or rather, his name.

“Devyn! Devyn! Hold up! It’s me, Kyle! Remember? From the Space Rocket?” The high pitched shout wasn’t enough to get me to slow my pace. Honestly, it was nearing eleven o’clock and my ass was still very nearly exposed in this performance outfit. No, it was the fact that it was a boy’s voice and he mentioned two words that got my attention.

Devyn had taken this kid up in the Space Rocket, which meant that Devyn had discovered and made his choice on who the lucky local boy was going to be here in Macon, Georgia. I grit my teeth with renewed anger towards my backstabbing twin.

Slowly I turn around to face the quickly approaching person. He was a few inches shorter and he had to be younger. But that waif frame, rather thin, and feminine was unmistakable for someone Devyn would be interested in. Each of the local boys he chose is like this. I think they are in many ways substitutes for me. I smile a bit wickedly at the thought.

“’Sup Devyn. Nasty fall you guys had there at the end. Was that your brother falling on top of you? He looked like he got hurt really bad!” Kyle’s charmingly cute small oval face looked that much more concerned with his eyes hidden behind the glasses. And apparently like Erin, because I was the one that had been performing the challenging summersaults and had landed on my brother, they thought I was the one injured. Irony never tasted so sweet.

“He’ll be alright. Just a scratch. Maybe they’ll give him stitches, but he’ll be okay.” I’m almost gleeful in my offhanded comments. My impersonation of Devyn comes off brilliant at least in my mind.

Kyle seemed to buy my rouse. He stood next to me, swaying his hips a little on occasion as well as casting wistful glances towards me. It was rather adorable actually how easily read his mind was. “Well that’s good to know. I liked the show up until then at least.”

“Thanks.” I grin ruefully, then lean close and give him a peck on the cheek. Just then, behind him and the tents of the stalls that lined the make shift streets of the carnival, bolts of light shot up into the sky with sudden loud whooshing sounds. Plumes of smoke trailed the flying objects. “Space Rocket.” I murmur to myself considering what Devyn had shared with Kyle already earlier in the evening. The fireworks exploded high overhead. Red heart shapes encircled in violet, they were beautiful.

Kyle’s eyes widened, first from the daring small kiss to his cheek and then even further by the bursts of light from the launch of the fiery missiles. “Oooh! You wanna watch the firework show with me?” His smaller hand darted to take mine. It was soft and eager to pull me closer to his stance.

I glance back up to where more and more rockets burst with shimmery reds, oranges, and yellows. Then, feeling the teal lycra tighten once again around my crotch, my free hand slides up along Kyle’s side. “I’ve had enough fire for one night. If you got time, you wanna come back to my trailer?”

The invitation both physical and verbal certainly was enough to steal the fourteen year old boy’s attention away from the fireworks display. And that was likely quite a challenge. Taking off his glasses, he rubbed them along the bottom of the t-shirt that stuck out of the base of his light jacket. His eyes met mine and I saw they were green as well, though also reflecting the many colors of the twinkling lights in the sky.

His hand still in mine, I release my hold on his waist and don’t wait for an answer. Instead, I lead the way away from the giant tent in the center of the parking lot where our circus had been erected. With the real Devyn at the clinic likely getting his wounds patched up from his failure and mistake, I decided I’d continuing enjoying playing pretend Devyn. Hopefully I’d already ruined any chances he had with Erin. Now, to steal and enjoy his local boy.

“Styop! Lyeave mye alyone!” The twinspeak finally kicked back in as Hadyn protested loudly to being tugged by his brother.

“Haddy. Lyook. Wyateyver yis goying yon, wye dyon’t yhave tyime fyor yit. Shyow tyime yis yin fyiftyeen myinyuts.”

The more fragile of the pair stared at Devyn. His eyes were rimmed in red, and thick with threatening tears. Things had seemed like they were on a roller coaster today and he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue riding. But he’d grown silent again even as his brother released his hand and reached up to stroke his hair.

Quieter, Devyn murmured to Hadyn. “Did you go see that witch again? Was that’s what got you riled up now?”
Despite the anger he felt toward Peace for what he perceived as a callous reading on her part, he wasn’t about to let his brother talk about her like that. He lashed out, pushing Devyn’s chest hard with the hand that still held tightly the tiny performance outfit they were supposed to be changing into.

“Haddy!” Devyn fell back a few steps, then snarled, “Fine, dude. I don’t care, okay? We have our show to do, so just change and let’s go do our damn job. Alright, Haddy?”

“Fyine. Fyine.” Hadyn whipped off his shirt with such a quick ferocity, one of the arm holes ripped at the seam. The younger of the two didn’t care. He flung it toward the open trunk, his eyes remaining hotly on his twin.

“Fyine. Fyine by mye tyoo,” Devyn retorted sarcastically. He wasn’t at all sure what was wrong with Hadyn now, but he figured it had a lot to do with the night’s ride up to this new town as well as the oral sex earlier. Maybe he’d seen him with Kyle and that had set him off again. Or maybe it really was something the Fortune Teller had told him. He hated the ideas that woman often put in his brother’s head. The only one to control his future was him!

He unsnapped his jeans and very nearly tore the zipper right off its tracks as he continued to undress aggressively. Thumbs hooking on his hips, despite being so shortly cut, their nails dug into his soft bared skin. He yanked the fabric down, and did a bit of a stumbling while trying to get them off his heels while maintaining an air of anger. His eyes continued to remain in a dark glare toward’s his brother who was stripping from his clothing as well.

Devyn didn’t get it. Considering what he figured Hadyn was starting to feel about their relationship as identical twins and all that had developed, this should have been something delightful: Stripping completely nude in front of one another.

He apparently projected that thought to Haddy, because even as the other sixteen year old was pulling on the slip of teal clothing, he sniped at him in twinspeak. “Yoyu dyon’t wyant mye anyway. Yoyu wyant whyatevyer boy yoyu fyind yin thyis shyitty towyn. Aynd wyorse, yoyu wyant Erin tyoo.” After adjusting his flaccid boyishness within the quite alluring performance attire, he pulled his hand free from the lycra which snapped loudly. He jutted his middle finger at Devyn adding without the complication of twinspeak, “So fuck you, Dev.”

BOOM!!!!!!

Suddenly the pair were startled by the impossibly loud sound of cannon fire. Then, the previously inaudible audience that had gathered for the circus’ first night in town began to cheer loudly. Sparkles the Clow had apparently been successfully fired out of the cannon and landed in his net unharmed yet again.

Devyn and Hadyn’s eyes locked on one another. Green glistening with much moisture as both were appropriately on the verge of tears. Then, without any more words on the matter, Devyn pulled off his jeans and underwear, pooling them at his feet momentarily before kicking them towards the trunk.

Hadyn, already fully dressed, finally did take his gaze off his now fully nude twin. It was difficult to consciously decide to do so, but the hurt he felt inside was so impossibly strong. How was he going to get through this show, he wondered.

After accidently beginning to pull on his own slim lycra shorts the wrong way, he turned around and stepped into the leg holes in the other direction. His bottom toward Hadyn, he glanced over his shoulder curious to see if his brother was still looking. So Hadyn finally found out about Erin, he thought to himself. What terrible timing after all that had happened on the way up to this city and earlier this afternoon. He wasn’t sure how he was going to console Hadyn this time.

Pulling the teal tightly fitting outfit up to cover himself, he turned back towards Hadyn. His hand very slowly reaching up, fingers splaying in the air. Despite their problem and the harshly laced words, he expected his brother to perform at his best.

Haddy, who had been trying to focus his eyes on the closed door of their dressing area, caught the glimpse of his brother’s bared ass. That gentle slope and curve not as delicate and with more sinew than his own. He licked his lip absently and still tasted the salt from the pretzel. Or had tears finally escaped him?

He shifted his frame towards his twin. Reaching up, he took Devyn’s hand. Their fingers interlaced even he allowed himself to be drawn nearer to the boy he was both livid and in love with. He wasn’t sure what would happen after their performance tonight, but he expected his brother to perform at his best. Considering the level of complex danger his half of the show required his life actually depended on it.

As the pair of boys push open again the flaps of their dressing area, a couple of stage-hands are moving quickly out of the room next to them.

The seamstress, Sandra, flashes a smile to the two clad in her skimpy outfits. She gives them a good look over as she holds them up just outside of the view of the large tent’s near full capacity audience. Hadyn winces as she adjusts the front of his teal lycra, folding under a bit of the hem showing at the top.

“Looking good, Haddy and Dev,” Sandra cheerfully remarks. She dabs her fingers into the white glitter jar and smears a little on each of their cheeks. The carnival had still not found a replacement make up artist since Miss Bawdett was arrested in Mobile for selling weed behind the tent in between acts.

After she was finished with the boys, she withdrew and the two remained pretty much on their own then. Devyn worked to relax his own shoulder muscles, massaging them hard with the palms of his hand. Hadyn stretched his legs, dropping his bottom down to the ground and rising up slowly several times.

Finally, after a brief moment of silence following the end theme for Sparkles the Clown, the lights inside the arena went off. A trio of bright white spotlights flicked on once again, each trained on the mustached man now standing in the center of tent. In a three-fourths circle surrounding him, tall bleachers full of people watched with rapt attention as Vydden used his deep booming voice to call out the next performance act.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Leighton Traveling Circus is pleased to present to you one of the most dangerous acts in the acrobatic performing arts today, they are only sixteen years of age, they are absolutely, positively breathtaking, and did I mention they are identical twins? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hadyn and Devyn, the Robertson Brothers!”

Yeah, they’re like over a week late, but in honor of my NaNoWriMo project this year, Pixiesticks has been given its monthly paint job. Take a ride on the carousel, enjoy funnel cakes, and don’t get scared by the crazy fun house. This month we’re all about the carnival!

And here’s another spine tingling excerpt!

Once we’re seated in chairs facing opposite one another at a larger table than the one in the primary tent, she reaches up and turns on a small lamp. It illuminates the table, which has a deck of cards placed in the center, but only halfway eases the darkness that shrouds each of our faces.

Without speaking, I move to cut the deck twice. It’s a ritual I’m long used to sharing with Peace. Her dangling bracelets clamor as she plucks up the first of the cards and sets it directly in front of me.

“Your present is represented here.” Despite having read my cards many times, she’s not taken out of her character. Peace delivers the names and meanings of the cards as if I were any one else with twenty five dollars and a curious mind. I know she cares for me. I know I hold a special place in her world, but this one time I wished she were more compassionate.

“Winds of Change. Perhaps one of the most up front and honest cards in the deck. Hadyn there are no second guesses, no misinterpretations of what this card means no matter what position it comes up. The constants that you’re used to are no longer. Change is in the air and you can only prepare yourself for them.”

I swallow audibly hard. I knew coming in here that what I may hear wouldn’t be easy. But damned if I didn’t think it’d be so difficult so quickly. Nothing frightened me more than change.

A second card was turned, this one placed directly to the left of the first. Her blood red painted nails scraped along the card’s edge making a thick sound. I glance from the card’s face to Peace’s and back again, my heart on edge. This card was being placed in my least favorite position.

“The Lovers has shown itself in your immediate circle. As you’re left handed, this position represents the things and people that are the most important to you.” Her voice didn’t waver even as I made a slight gasp when the card was revealed. “Not just representing sexuality, The Lovers also represent a duality.”

“Devyn,” I breathe his name.

“Your twin, of course. But my child, mind my memory, but has this card ever shown in your readings since we’ve started our engagements?”

She’s not looking at the cards anymore, but instead her lean face is raised. Her eyes are staring directly at me, and I cannot match the gaze. Her lips tighten, and even before she sees I’ve shaken my head no, she’s continuing with the reading.

“As I thought. As you’re experiencing change presently, it’s with this immediate circle that the change will affect the most. I can only hope you’ll identify such and make it for the greater good and betterment of yourself.”

“But…” I start, but am silenced by the thick sound of the third card being overturned. It’s placed to the right of the first. I already know its position represents my secondary circle, or rather outside influences on me.

“The Queen of Swords turns up in your secondary circle, or your outside influences realm. This is a very dangerous position for her to be found. The difficulties that may rise, a direct result of these changes, may very well be something abruptly attacking you or something you hold dear.” Peace’s words sound hollow despite their dire warnings. It starts to upset me as she’s obviously giving me a reading like I’d never experienced.

She continues, “The Queen of Swords may represent a conflict between the sexes. The masculine and feminine are at conflict. It shows you being swayed by matters of the heart and are not apt to making good thoughtful decisions.”

“Peace.” Her name drops off my tongue darkly as I dare to put my hands on the table. They’re trembling. But all I can think about is stopping her and begging for clearer explanations.

“My child.” Even with the fourth and final card in her hand, still unrevealed, she does pause and give me a glance.

“I’m in love with him.” Despite all the emotions swirling in my head, and the hard thumping in my heart, I can still barely hear my own words just a meager whisper.

“Say it, Hadyn.” Her tongue flicks across her lips giving the red color a shimmer in the lamp’s delicate light.

“I’m in love with Devyn.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Devyn told me. The sound of his voice muffled by the whoosh of all of the flaming torches I’d thrown at him. They were almost symbolic of the glares and harsh words we shared with one another. I also hoped they were a symbol of how passionate I now felt for him.

But just as fire melts, it also burns.

“I ynow yyou’ll fynd ynothyer hyere. Ynothyer yin Ashville nyext. Thyen tyo Virgina Beach.”

“Haddy,” Devyn sighed even as he began working the juggle routine back to tossing me some of the weight of six flaming batons. I fold my arms across my bare chest, but the broad smirk on my face is an obvious clue that I’m not angry or upset anymore. My brother doesn’t dare start flinging them my way yet, but he does give the last in the series a fake flip that makes it appear he was going to.

“I just want in.” I drop the twinspeak as well as my hands. My fingers hook along the waistline of my jeans. A little shiver crawls down my spine as I decide to wedge my digits lower, revealing more of my lower belly.

“But, I don’t know if I can give you what…” Devyn’s voice drops to silence. The whoosh of the flaming torches once again is all that’s heard. I lower my head, but not my gaze, even as my fingers have unfastened my jeans. The zipper’s teeth groan as its pulled down, and my hands have lowered my clothing. My hips are bared. My underwear tugged down with the jeans allowing my private hair to start to be glimpsed.
“Haddy.” It’s Devyn’s voice again, but it’s barely a breathed whisper as he seems nearer and the rush of the flaming torches are louder than before.

I lift my head even as my hands are so very slowly revealing more and more. My eyes widen as I watch he lets a torch fall from his throwing hand to bounce on the ground. He’s still counting the routine, even as a second, and third torch move from his right hand, flicking up to the sky, then down to his left, before being let fall deliberately to the ground.

The forth torch falls just about when I’ve backed us up a few paces towards the open back door of our trailer. Behind Devyn, the relinquished batons slowly burn themselves out as their fire isn’t constantly fueled by being twirled in the air.

When the fifth torch is passed into Devyn’s throwing hand but instead rather dropped unceremoniously to the ground, I’ve allowed my jeans to finally fall to my ankles. The underwear halfway down thighs, I’ve exposed myself to Devyn and albeit briefly to anyone else who’d been witness to our unusual practice.

With the sixth, and final fiery baton dropped, my twin’s hot hands go to my hips and he lifts my light frame up to be seated on the edge of the trailer. He reaches casually toward the swinging door and pulls it closer to shield my nakedness from onlookers. It’s one of the only moments we weren’t staring into each other’s eyes.

Devyn’s hands sweep up my chest, encouraging me to lay my head back, and I do. Then, that very chest rises strongly as I inhale deeply when I feel the hot, wet lips grace the head of my strengthening erection. He takes my left hand in his, and uses the right one to stroke at my cock’s base. Easy, slow strokes, sending shivers down to my dangling feet.

Once he’s added his entire suckling mouth, I finally allow my eyes to close. My back trys to arch upward when Devyn’s head begins to really bob up and down, but he reaches up and forces it down with a strong hand.

I grit my teeth, fighting back a quick orgasm. It’s an impossible battle, of course. After all, I’m obtaining at least a fraction of what I’d realized I desired. For whatever reason, Devyn had either decided this didn’t detract any from what he believed, or that it at least put off anything he didn’t really want to decide.

I didn’t believe, even with his lips tightly wrapped about my cock, that he was doing this because he was as in love with me as he was discovering I was with him.

But, of course, when his hand returned to the base of my dick, the strokes coming faster and in cooperation with the suckling of his mouth, I was starting to at least not care nearly as much at the moment. Believing in the connection and the pleasure, I wrapped my ankles about his legs. I re-opened my eyes and cast downward glances across the expanse of my shirtless body, catching glimpses of his eyes looking right back up at me.

My hips jerked, and he raised his head, allowing his hand to caress over the slickness of my rigid inches. My free hand darted up to catch the back of his neck, I pull him back down even as I fight off orgasm.

Devyn grunts, but obliges in the nick of time. The hot confines of his mouth upon my cockhead once more, I let the spring inside my groin release. The thick pulses of pleasure are so much stronger than that of the night before. My fingers trail down the side of my twin’s face, and I feel the muscles of his throat contract when he swallows what I’ve given him.

Or forced upon him.
He lets go of my hand, lets go of my spent sex, and raises his head. I can’t tell if he’s looking down at me with judgment in those green eyes, or with a different kind of inspired admiration.

“Better?”

I feel my nose wrinkle a little in disdain for his simple one syllable question. It was an experience so delightful, something I’d treasure and think about so strongly. And that was all he could say?

Fortunately, he followed up such a inadequate response with leaning up against my still reclined body, and brushing my lips with his own. It wasn’t a full on kiss, but something delicate and fleeting. Devyn read me like a book. And even after he slithered away attending to the discarded torches, I decided that I did, in fact, feel better.

“Come on Devyn! I’m tired of being the last ones to leave.” It was the gruff voice of Sam that unfortunately pulled me completely out of the moment.

Not that these moments ever lasted.

The boy in front of me reaches up and touches my cheek. His fingers are long, slender, and so very soft. It’s a surprisingly tender touch. I still cannot understand, however, why they get so attached so quickly. We’ve only known each other for three days.

“I know you said you were leaving town tonight.” He sounds adorable even though I can feel these tears welling up inside of his thin frame. He’s such a delicate flower.

I wrap my arms about his body, slender and feminine. My fingers splay across his lower back. Fingertips just within his jeans in the small of his back. I wish I could be inside him one more time before I have to leave Fort Lauderdale for the long journey northward.

The next town.

Surely a barren wasteland.

I doubt I’d find anyone as precious as this boy in my arms there.

But don’t I always say that?

“It’s never ending,” I finally say when I’ve found my voice. Thankfully, it sounds reassuring to him. “We’ll be together again next year. If you still want it, I mean.”

He pushes at my chest. Sassily, he responds, “Of course I do!” His girlish voice still seems, despite the promise, to be on the verge of sobbing.

I kiss him. Splitting his lips with a forced tongue, I’m tasting heaven again. I hear Sam’s approach, but I ignore the World’s Strongest Man and continue sucking face with what’s his name from whatever city it is we’re leaving.

He’s hot and melts in my arms. Pressing his groin to mine, he positions a leg between mine. His hard on rubbing within his impossibly tight jeans against mine.

“If you don’t get in your trailer, I swear I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you, Dev, now get to it,” Sam barks. Inspite of the way his tone sounds, he wouldn’t dare make good with the gravely voiced threat. Haddy would pitch a fit.

My twin sticks up for me as if he were the troublemaker. He keeps me from getting tossed to the curb. And I don’t think he does it thinking he’d manage to go on without me. He does it out of brotherly love.

A love that’s apparently getting stronger.

A love that seems to be transforming into something else. It’s as if sometimes I wonder if he wants to be the one I’m holding, kissing, rubbing clothed cocks together. Does he want me to fuck him too, I wonder?

“Now!”

Sam’s finally reached us and time really is over for what’s his name. He jumps, breaking the hot kiss, startled by the humongous giant looming so near. I laugh at him and after giving me a pretty adorable glare, he giggles and wipes his mouth.

“Goodbye Hadyn.”

“Goodbye,” I respond simply, using another punctuated kiss to mask the fact I can’t remember the eighteen year old’s name whom I just spent the last three days fucking.

Sam groans, but obliges us this fleeting goodbye. Then, I’m escorted with a strong arm on my back. As we head to the trailer, I resist the urge to look back to see if the boy is still standing by the gate watching me leave. Of course he is.

But we’re on the move. The trailer’s back door opens, and Haddy’s inside securing our belongings for the long trip northward. He pauses to turn and smile to me. I smile back. Without words, I’m immediately going to help.

I think he understands what I’m doing, what’s kept me, and why I adore this traveling carnival life. But when he offers me the roll of duct tape, and there is this long, deliberate caress of my hand, if feels unlike anything else. He must feel something strong inside. A need to reclaim me as his twin from this city’s borrower.

“Don’t wory,” I say.

“Dev?”

“Haddy?”

Our eyes lock. The semi is suddenly rocked by the start up of her engine. My other hand goes instinctively to Hadyn’s hip to keep him from falling over.

Nothing more is said about it. We hasten our work securing the signs and other props in the make-shift home. Next stop: Macon, Georgia.

NaNoWriMo 2008 starts tomorrow.
50,000 words.
30 days.
1667 words per day.
Oh the humanity!

There is still time to

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Filed under: NaNoWriMo, freak show

Last November I embarked on what seemed at the time an impossible mission. I was going to write a 50,000 word novel. Oh, and I was going to do it in one month. That’s 1666 words a day, everyday, for the entire month. I honestly didn’t think it was possible despite, and maybe even in spite of, having written “Pixiesticks” back in 2002. That project took me a year, how the hell was I going to write something that wasn’t terrible in a month?

Well I did it. I wrote “Later, Skater.” It was an engrossing and important story about a teenage boy with albinism who when deciding his sexuality for himself is sent to an ex-gay religious camp by his father. It was filled with high drama and explicit sex. And I think by far it is the best thing I’ve ever done.

Now, it’s nearing November. It’s getting to be time to once again look the calender in the face and decide to write 1666 words a day, everyday, for another entire month. The pressure is even higher now that I know I can accomplish such a feat.

But unlike “Later, Skater” this new project will be completely new. There won’t be much based on previously inspired characters or story ideas I’ve had and shared with my collaborative storytelling partner. And writing this 50,000 word novel is going to be even more challenging.

I’ll be writing about twin acrobat boys that live, play, and work in a traveling carnival. With adopted families and ever-changing surroundings, the pair will find themselves drifting apart as adolescence takes hold. One will find love. The other will find themselves. It will be filled with high drama and explicit sex. And I hope it’ll be the next best thing I’ve ever done.

You’re soon going to be hearing the names Taavi and Juhani quite a lot here on pixiesticks.org. And while the fast paced schedule of writing every day will make both sites updated less frequently, I really hope that the excerpts of their journey I bring you will entertain and fascinate you.

NaNoWriMo starts November 1st and that’s when I’ll be penning my next novel, tentatively titled “Freak Show.” Welcome to the show.