So I got the extraction today. Oh thinks suck pretty bad right now, but I’m sure it’ll get better from here on now out. Gauze in the hole, using only the ibuprofen right now but may add the Vicodin later depending on how things go.

It really is yet another example of how I kind of am wishy washy about a major decision but once I decide something, I do it all in a big hurry. Two days of this (plus Saturday kinda) it’s quite a bit. At least I think so.

I’m supposed to work tomorrow and truck on Friday but they are not recommending either. We’ll see. I kind of just wanna say fuck it and just return as scheduled on Monday feeling, like, good, you know?

UPDATE: Work actually called me and it’s been settled. I’m coming back fresh on Monday.

UPDATE 2: Well while I didn’t immediately crash right away, I certainly finally did around 3am last night. Sleeping until just now at nearly 2:30pm. I took some meds at like 8am during a break time of waking up so I’m pretty sure they’re gone now and I don’t currently feel any real hard pain. I think the most interesting feeling is the missing-ness of the tooth. Ha! Ha! It’s gonna be a weird few weeks until it gets all put together.

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment to, as far as I know at the moment, get the broken tooth removed, do a root canal on the one next door, and get a bridge. I think there is more involved, but that’s the general idea as I understand it anyway.

I know I’m probably in for a lot of pain, but to tell you the honest truth, I’m already in quite a bit of it. And I don’t mean actual physical pain. I mean, that I just feel so miserable about this and how it’s making everything else worse.

My mother’s stepped in and has worked out a loan for me that will cover the cost of these procedures. There’s even a bit more left over for me to pay off some more expensive debt that I have floating around, kind of consolidating it into one place at a lower fixed rate. It’s probably a very good thing, but of course I still feel so terrible about it all.

Worse, I’m losing hours this week because of it. I really have to get this all to work together. I need to get things moving in a positive direction, because this shit is seriously not working out so well right now.

EDIT: Turns out, it’ll be two days of fun. Tomorrow -AND- Wednesday.

Last night on the way back from a rather unfun night at Heretic, part of a tooth that had been bothering me for much of this year broke off. Sadly I wasn’t inside a restaurant at the time so I could sue someone.

I’m going to the dentist today armed with my grammie’s credit card because I obviously cannot afford pretty much anything the dentist will have to say. This is why nothing has been done up until this point already.

Like health care, dentistry is something that is pretty unaffordable even with insurance (which I also don’t have.)

I was so upset about it last night I cried. And to be truthful, I don’t feel much better about it today.

It was an abbreviated trip to Alchemy (Miniature regional Burning Man) this year, but considering it may not have even happened, I suppose it was worth the effort. See, I was sick (again) and my friend DJ Kaze wasn’t too keen on getting sick himself. So I went to the doctor to check out my symptoms and sure enough I was not contagious. I didn’t have strep either. Which is good since I was totally making out with Miley Cyrus the week before and was worried about that.

Unfortunately that meant we went up to the event on Saturday, set up tent, nearly missed the dang burn itself, drank and danced and found ourselves amongst like-minded crazies until nearly dawn, slept, then took down the tent to come home on Sunday. Everything was at such a frenzied pace that you really didn’t have much time to simply enjoy what was happening around you.

It isn’t the way I recommend attending a burn. In fact, next year, I suggested why not — if everyone is healthy, of course — let’s go up on Thursday. Get some real time with the site, its denizens, and make it a Big Huge Deal. Because it is a big huge deal.

The lessons I think I took away from Alchemy is that my life is already in progress and I need to kind of show up for it. I turn 31 years old tomorrow. Let me repeat that so it can sink in… THIRTY ONE YEARS OLD TOMORROW. I know I don’t look it. Thanks!! Sometimes I don’t feel it. But regardless of these facts, it is my actual age.

I really enjoy many things I got going on in my life:

Work often sucks, but overall is still good for me most of the time.

My websites are stellar. Pixiesticks is kind of in transition into becoming my home base for my writing while Shotalicious is finding nearly a million page views a month.

I could really stand to open myself up to more friendships though. I cannot get complacent in the idea of shutting myself out. I don’t know why I started to do that, but I need to get out of that. This needs to happen with immediacy.

And there is a lack of love. I don’t even have anyone on my prospects list. And I have a feeling no one out there is wanting me either. This really should be different. I am needful of love and affection just as much as I am needful of expressing it to others.

So while there is plenty to be proud of — I’m still not smoking. 200 Days Today! — I really could stand to make some changes in some of the most fundamental parts of my life to keep myself going forward. The romantic stuff may not be new, the friend stuff actually kind of is. Unless I plan on being some sort of sequestered old man writing teenage boy sex novels on Key West with hundreds of cats while drinking gin until I kill myself, I really ought to fix things now.

KALKI AND SKITTLES WILL SKATE BACK INTO YOUR HEART IN 2010
Planned sequel to fan favorite novel Later, Skater in the works

Next month, Jonathan Sexton says he’ll be nailing down a whirlwind of ideas when he composes a sequel to his second novel, Later, Skater. “Much of the plot was already well crafted since the 2008 release of that novel,” Sexton notes, adding, “There were many directions Kalki and Skittles could have gone, but only one makes me the happiest to tell.”

Kalki Helaku was introduced to readers as a sixteen-year-old albino skater who had trouble with his family leading to a life-altering stay at a religious institution designed to change his sexual orientation. His life becomes intertwined with that of Mishka who is Russian, two years younger, and highly rebellious.

“People really identified with these characters,” Sexton explains. “It was a coming of age and gay versus organized religion all rolled up into one. And it was sexy too, which I insist is very importing in making an impact.”

An impact is exactly what Jonathan Sexton hopes to make when he writes, edits, and publishes the sequel over the next six months. Using the National Novel Writing Month campaign (NaNoWriMo) once again as a jumping off point, he hopes this will be his third success in as many years.

Details of the plot for the new book will be slowly revealed on his website pixiesticks.org, but the tentative title Later, Skater: On Tour was already secretly revealed on the authors NaNoWriMo profile page. The writing event begins November 1st.

The novel will likely again be printed by Lulu.com a Print On Demand resource that is giving a voice to thousands of independent minded artists. Later, Skater and 2009′s Freakshow are available both as a physical or digital copy via Lulu.com.

I’ve come down with something very strongly and quickly as of yesterday evening around five. I don’t know what it is, but it feels different than what ailed me post-con. Fever. Sinus issues. The aches could be from doing the truck on Tuesday as usual or it could be a symptom.

Too bad Dr. House isn’t practicing medicine anymore. Sorry for that slight spoiler alert, but we’re two episodes into the new season and sometimes you need to be shocked into remembering to watch again, right?

I hate feeling sick.
Worse, I hate that I don’t have Health Care.
I mean, it’s been this huge ass national debate — read: Yelling tennis match — for the last eleventy months it seems. I’m one of the uninsured!

It all happened when my Pizza Hut got bought out by a franchise and dumped every.single.last.one.of.my.benefits. No 401k. No vacation. No health care. No accident free rewards program. Jack shit.

Get another job, you may say?
Um, I should fucking lucky I HAVE a job right now.
But how long can I continue saying that if I have to occasionally call in sick? And by occasionally, I mean two full days and two half days in September.

I’m actually pretty confident my job is secure since when I am there I’m the best there is. I’ve only moderately complained that the work load has increased by about 100% due to the cutting of the second daytime driver AND cook.

Yeah, we run a restaurant with just a manager and a driver. Isn’t that fucking insane?

And that kind of leads me to wondering, maybe that’s what has got me sick. Sure, DragonCon and the 40,000+ weirdos that attend probably had something to do with it. And my sister and her Kid Rock Look Alike Boyfriend have three dogs and I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to at least the big brown one.

But I quit smoking over 6 months ago. I eat more healthy than ever before with lots of veggies and water and all that.

So maybe it’s the stress.
Oh and the fact that I don’t have health care.

Why not buy some on my own, you say?
Have you seen the terrible economy? I couldn’t really afford health care on my own over a year ago when things were half-assedly decent. An extra 120 dollars a month now is really hard to find. Especially reliably every single month.

But you know what?
I’m not going to let this get me down?
No sir!
Not even when the Republicans are bickering about how we can’t afford any heathcare bills like the ones perposed.
Not even when the Democrats want to fine people for not having healthcare. (Um, gee, if I had the money, wouldn’t I buy it?)

I will feel better.
I will go to Alchemy this weekend with DJ Kaze and conspire to write my 4th Novel.
And maybe just maybe things will start to improve all around me due to some of my positive energy at work and in my own personal economy.

Oh, yeah, and I turn 31 years old next Friday. Holy shit.

The website officially reloads on October 1st, but why not sign up early and beat the rush? Then join me on November 1st as we start down the path to completing a 50,000 word novel!

Also: The splash page for pixiesticks has been updated to give more attention to my novel writing. It mentions a major announcement on my 4th novel is coming soon, so you know you don’t wanna miss that.

PIXIE – Free and Healing for Six Months, while extending my life expectancy 12 Days and 18 Hours, by avoiding the use of 3680 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $880.64.

Relatively soon from now, there are going to be some changes made to pixiesticks.org. Don’t freak out though! The website isn’t going anywhere and the blog is going to be here and shotalicious.org is still going to be there too.

What I’m going to do is rotate the focus of the site more towards the novels so that I can use pixiesticks more as a website to direct people curious about my writing.

Currently with the splash page, everyone gets pretty much dumped here on the blog. That was all fine and good when I didn’t give a crap about who was ever reading my website. But then the yaoi and later shota started making me a bit internet famous. So much so that I had to create a separate site for that stuff.

Now, I think with three novels done, two in the last two years, and a fourth to be written in November, I really need to either a) create a new website for that material which I really can’t afford to do or b) re-appropriate this website for that purpose.

I appreciate your patience when the changes do occur, but I assure you, nothing essentially will change.

1. William Shatner isn’t always an ass. He actually can be brilliantly entertaining even if he mostly appeared like he was talking with co-panelist Lenard Nimoy. Reoccuring themes included why he wasn’t in the movie, picking on Georgia natives (Nimoy has a lot of history in this city actually), the ongoing feud with George Takaei, and getting the lowest fare on priceline.com. Nimoy wins the battle however since he hates Glenn Beck as much as I do.

2. Movie trailers are always a big draw. People like watching them in the theatre, people like watching them at a convention. Even an hours worth of them can really be entertaining filler during a day’s worth of activities. The screen is big and you may get to see some you (or perhaps even the general public) has never seen. Avatar looks downright stellar if Second Life-like.

3. The name of your panel is very important. If you’re going to talk about the books rather than the television show, don’t call your panel True Blood. Call your panel The Sookie Stackhouse Novels. Because otherwise, it just looks obnoxious to bitch and whine and complain about the HBO series. This goes for any fandom really. You all need to get over the fact that books and television or movies are DIFFERENT. That’s why they’re called ADAPTATIONS.

4. The Con Suite really stepped it up this year. Either that or I got really lucky with what times I decided to drop in. For the uninitiated, this is a room set up by the staff, run 24 hours (except for a moments here and there for cleaning) that features food and drink. Sometimes you get something like Chex Mix, sometimes you get bacon and eggs like I did one morning. Other awesome dishes were red beans and rice, and Pocky. One of the misses was a huge ass pickle at 3am. Thanks but um, well I kind of wanted a real penis at that hour, I mean srsly.

5. Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) has indeed become the hot delicious young adult I knew he’d be. Another member of the “delicious accent club,” he also has the benefit of playing a bad guy who finally found himself in The Half-Blood Prince. He couldn’t help but constantly flood the panel with fan service stating his favorite scene was with Harry in the toilets, that he actually prefers a Draco x Ron pairing, and that he’s a bit unsure about the photo-real slash out there.

6. I’m still unsure why the whole MST3K gang can’t seem to get back together all together even now. They all seem to talk about how they can’t get work in Hollywood and they really like doing their projects Cinematic Titanic and RiffTrax respectively. They all share a deep seeded hatred for Jim Mallon. Why not put your peanut butter in their chocolate already?

7. Malcolm McDowell was one of those celebrities that did indeed charge a premium for pix and autographs… HOWEVER!!! Unlike many of those other crappy actors that aren’t really worth the oxygen they’re sucking up at their empty Walk of Fame table, this guy is a real nice man who if you don’t have the money will still chat for a moment. I told him that I really like his work, which is technically true since I HAVE INDEED seen so many of his films that even he probably doesn’t remember doing. You know, because they’re bad.

8. I missed out on seeing Adam Savage because I got my hotels mixed up. It was in the Sheraton not the Marriott. The 4th hotel was added I believe last year and it’s kind of a haul as it sits away from the main three (which are lined up in a row across the three blocks). It was also ice cold for other panels like Crow vs Crow — No matter who loses, Tom Servo wins — and so maybe it’s not so bad I missed out seeing another Mythbuster this year. Besides, would it be right to see Adam without Jamie?

9. 3 Years ago in the Self Publishing panel it was filled with so-called experts who said it wasn’t a good idea. You should polish your letters and send them out to all the publishers and get yourself a good stack of rejections. This year they say that this is the way of the future and that while there still will be the big names, this is the best way to go forward. Durr. I told you so. That’s why I self-published “Later, Skater” and “Freakshow” and ignored your so-called advice. Bitches.

10. Steam Punk has taken over. An instant fandom (just add water) this re-envisioning of the way the world works if only we powered things by steam. While this isn’t exactly a new concept, per say, this is the first year it got its own track of programming at DragonCon. Yes, they did underestimate the appeal and gave it too small of a room. But considering how obviously overwhelmingly popular it was, I think that’ll be remedied quite quickly. The fact that Best in Show at the Masquerade went to a steam punk group will not be lost on those in charge, I’m sure. I’m quite pleased to be honest. It’s a far more interesting concept than Twilight or Browncoats or sucking the teat of Joss Whedon that’s for goddamn sure.

Dishonorable Mention: Furries still suck. Not content to stink up the internet, they continue to troll our conventions this time wearing shirts with the acronym FAP (Furry and Proud.) Die in a fucking fire.

(Last Week, This Week, Weeks On List, Song, Artist)

3, 1, 2 = Day n’ Night, Kid Cudi (1 Week at Number 1)
2, 2, 2 = Battle For the Sun, Placebo
6, 3, 2 = You’re Gonna Go Far Kid, Offspring
1, 4, 2 = Kiss Me Through The Phone, Sammie f. Soulja Boy (1 Week at Number 1)
-, 5, 1 = Jai Ho, Pussycat Dolls
-, 6, 1 = Halo, Beyonce
7, 7, 2 = Untouched, Veronicas

I think even with a few days, the decision KT made to discuss what he did with me has shaken down to mean that my experience with him will be so vastly downgraded that it may not really be anything at all. So, I’m pretty sure in essence it’s come to its conclusion. Unless it’s proven otherwise.

I mean, I would re-pursue with great enthusiasm if I were allowed. But I was accepted then unaccepted and my fire extinguished.

Trying out a new widget thingy over on the left hand side. It’s a great way for you to find out what my favorite popular songs are right now. Grooveshark is a really great website that lets you upload songs or listen to millions of songs uploaded by others. No, you can’t download anything, but that may be what will keep it online and free.

Pixie’s Top Seven
(Last Week, This Week, Weeks On List, Song, Artist)

–, 1, 1 = Kiss Me Through The Phone, Sammie f. Soulja Boy
–, 2, 1 = Battle For the Sun, Placebo
–, 3, 1 = Day n’ Night, Kid Cudi
–, 4, 1 = Please Don’t Leave Me, Pink
–, 5, 1 = You’re Gonna Go Far Kid, Offspring
–, 6, 1 = Taking Back My Love, Enrique Iglesias f. Ciara
–, 7, 1 = Untouched, Veronicas

I got to see KT twice in one week, but the results of such were not as amazing as they ought to have been. See, while we still got to enjoy dinner and deliciousness with one another, I was also told he didn’t want to be my boyfriend. That he has some situation occurring with a long time ex of his. And he wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

Being up front about it didn’t really change much though. I told him that he’d still have to make a decision. That he would have to either decide to go for it (or accept it if he’s the one pursued.) And unfortunately he didn’t have much of an answer.

I’m told we can still do everything we’re doing now. But, of course, I still feel sick to my stomach about it, even though I did get to experience everything we had been doing before.

A negativity has been introduced into a situation that was nothing but positive for the both of us. And worse, I don’t think there is anything I can do about it other than either walk away or keep on trying to prove that I am better.

Considering I’ve yet to do anything wrong, I’m confused as to why that would even be a question.

Lost for a bit behind all the sad news of yesterday including the deaths of a Charlie’s Angel and The King of Pop, I do have something else to mention on a personal note: I got a boyfriend now.

Plans opened up allowing me to spend the evening with KT on Wednesday. After trekking up through the city during rush hour once more, we visited North Point Mall. Hey, 40 minutes in a Bath/Body Works is not bad at all once placated with Japanese food. *grin*

Seriously though, I really enjoy every minute I spend with this fascinating and beautiful person.

We later watched You Are Not Alone, obviously one of my favorite movies, and KT talked a bit how he read and enjoyed “Later, Skater.” He thought it was quite good, especially the influences and toward the end.

Even later, after getting another opportunity to get some real life yaoi engaged, I did ask him if he’d be my boyfriend and he said yes. I couldn’t be happier about it. He’s absolutely worth his busy schedule with the teaching and the reflexology and the singing. Did I mention the singing before? I’m telling you, he’s kind of a big deal.

And he likes me!

Over the last few days the a/c has been out here at my house making for one pretty hot and sweaty PIXIE. I noticed it throughout the day on Sunday as the temperature kept rising and rising in spite of the air conditioner continuing to run.

This made the evening rather impossible to sleep through as I tried to sweat it out in my extremely hot room. I felt so ill by morning, I called into work.

Not wanting to miss any more, I took refuge at my grandmother’s house last night. In the process, I got to see my cousin who has really rebounded well I think in the last several months. He has a girlfriend that looks quite a bit like Erin from the E-Insurance commercials. He was practicing his guitar which is stellar since he’s good at it. I heard he quit smoking too. Didn’t see him doing any while I was there, so that’s possibly true. (I just got through my 90th day yesterday, myself.)

Thankfully, the air has been fixed and I’m enjoying it being really nice and frigid in the house at the moment.

Things have been going very well in spite of this annoyance actually. While I really need to keep on the money situation to make sure I’m staying ahead of the game, I can’t really complain there. Work is frustrating at times, especially since they keep rolling out new crap and stuff. We’re even having one of those old school meetings on Sunday morning at 8:30am. I think that’s earlier than even God gets up.

But all through this, I have KT to be texting and calling back and forth periodically. While I was really hoping I’d get to see him this week, it doesn’t look very good. Today is out, tomorrow is probably out, and Thursday is only a maybe before he goes to Green Bay, Wisconsin for another weekend out of town.

I’m not stressing about it though. I know it’s hard to believe that, but I think going without for so long has prepared me quite well. I have patience and understanding where I probably didn’t have as much before.

Then again, it’s easy to wait when the reward seems so very rewarding.

People tragically die early all the time. Famous people get more coverage though, so I gotta ask you, who have you outlived?

You’ve outlived Jim Croce by 1 day. If you make it 6 more days, you will outlive Steve Clark.

Jim Croce sang the oldie “Leroy Brown” (He was the baddest dude in the whole damn town, from what I hear.) Steve Clark was in the band Def Leppard.

Yesterday, KT asked me to come up to his place since he was back from his overseas trip and had another upcoming trip looming this coming weekend. The only problem? The request was made for rush hour.

I survived a 90 minute trip in the thick of Atlanta’s bumper to bumper shenanigans and it was oh, so worth it.

Not only was I treated to a few nice gifts from his visit to Geneva (small cowbell with a heart shape on it) and Paris (a miniature Mona Lisa) but we enjoyed dinner at a Japanese restaurant.

Then, after about an hour’s worth of pre-recorded episodes of the show Charmed, I found myself charmed with another healthy dose of boy-flesh.

I don’t mind Charmed so much. The characters are really well done, and as a character-writer I can totally get into that. But, boy it’s filled with quite a lot of cheese including the special effects. LOL.

As for the boy x boy action. It was ramped up quite a bit from last time. I’m completely blissful in being not only allowed to completely be myself, but also seem to be able to express and share some kind of fantasy version of sexuality I’ve only rarely had an opportunity to experience. (Meaning, I’ve been so focused in the non-reality of yaoi/shota that when it comes to the real thing, it isn’t as good. This isn’t the case with KT. It really is that delightful.)

I think things are going well and I wouldn’t mind if we just cruised along right at this pace. I certainly don’t mind the traveling he’s doing right now. It seems the communication and face time is working out just fine.

I apologize in advance for the holes in the playlist, but I didn’t follow Kaze’s advice and let him write down what I was doing at the time. Why not? Well, I was more focused on actually doing a good job. And I think this mix will show my development over the last few months.

DJ SemeUke — Stellar
(99.34MB)

01. Kelly Osborne — One Word
02. Estelle — American Boy
03. Madonna — Love Profusion
04. Sunrider — The Bomb
05. Natasha Bedingfield — Pocketful of Sunshine
06. My Life Would Suck — Kelly Clarkson
07. Fantasy Girl — Johnny O
08. Pussycat Dolls — Jai Ho
09. Mischa Daniels — Round & Round
10. Stevie Nicks — Stand Back
11. Rihanna – Pon de Replay
12. Kristine W — Kristine W Megamix
13. Faithless — Insomina
14. Deep Dish — Say Hello

(Thanks DJ Sean Mac for filling in my gaps in the playlist)

If you order my book via Lulu by clicking the banner ad above this month, I’m giving discounts. What better way to celebrate Gay Pride Month (Obama even signed a declaration of such!!) or to get started on your Summer Reading than to order books written by your favorite perverted webmaster?

Print copies of “Later, Skater” and “Freakshow” are 11 dollars each. That’s a savings of 2 dollars this month.

But the real deals come with the downloads!

You can get a digital copy of this year’s release, “Freakshow” for only 5 dollars.
Best yet, you can get a digital copy of “Later, Skater” for only 3 dollars.

THREE DOLLARS! Hell, you can’t even get a Baconator for that price. So check out the link, the previews, and do some reading (and fapping) this June and thanks!

It’s become kind of a new meme for me created during the super lengthy date I went on Saturday that included an organic farmers market, lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, shopping at Lenox, seeing the movie “Up”, visiting Heretic briefly, and going to his place.

Yeah, it’s as epic as it sounds.

But where the meme comes from is that it seems to mean that whatever is happening, I’m at peace with the situation. If it’s a bad thing, it’s been recognized as such and it’ll be dealt with accordingly. If it’s a good thing, it’s been accepted and will be appreciated as such.

Sure, it may sound a little cold, but in actuality it represents a kind of Zen-like status with the environment around you. So it’s really warm and life affirming.

If this really develops into something, “I’m okay with that.” Even though he’ll be traveling quite a bit and there are pretty large differences between us.

If this doesn’t become more than what it is already, “I’m okay with that.” It’s already been enchanting and satisfying in many ways.

The main thing though after using the meme though, is that action is taken afterwards. I don’t know what it is yet with this new guy in my life, but I’m glad something has been started.

It’s been a while since I posted a personal post here so here’s a rundown of what’s been going down lately.

1. Colin and Allie are moving to Maine. They had a going away party last night that was very well attended and lots of fun. Sure, it grew bittersweet towards the end, but I am very glad for them and this new stage of their life. HINT HINT.

2. Courtney aka Elf is very well, other than screwing up her classes and not having a job. On the bright side, the current stage of a transformation is going really well I think. After all, with no current hormone treatment or voice coaching, everyone seems to be taking to Courtney extremely extremely well.

3. Met a guy last night at Heretic while hanging out with Kaze and Tatsuo. He’s Malaysian… very lovely. We had a rather enchanting evening that didn’t involve dancing to Lady Gaga unfortunately, but did lead to playful and satisfying kisses. Considering we did seem to take to one another quite nicely, I have optimistic hopes for this. I’ll try not to be disappointed if nothing comes of it, but I think it could be really quite good.

UPDATE: I talked to him on Memorial Day for about a half hour. We have tentative plans to go see the Pixar film “Up” next weekend.

4. Sales of Freakshow and Later, Skater:

32 print copies of “Later, Skater”
16 print copies of “Freakshow”
7 download copies of “Later, Skater”
8 download copies of “Freakshow”

You can get them here.

5. Money seems to be doing mostly pretty decently. I think a huge difference maker has been that I quit smoking completely. In fact, I have this little script running on my computer that reminds me how well I’m doing:

“PIXIE – Free and Healing for Two Months, Two Days, 19 Hours and 29 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days and 10 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1276 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $303.90.”

Wow… 150ish dollars a month extra in my wallet goes a long way.

So I know things haven’t exactly been very exiting over here on pixiesticks.org lately. It’s no surprise that shotalicious takes up just about all of my website making time and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, it’s like intensely popular and that makes me happy.

I did want to let you know a few personal things that have been going on. You know, for the 15 or so of you still left here.

1. I sold all 12 of my copies of “Freakshow” I bought to sell myself. Hurrah!
2. Elf is going by the name Courtney. Progress is being made there and that’s great.
3. No boys are vying for my attention currently and I’m not seeing any prospects. :(
4. Work is kind of perplexing. Mostly slow, but sometimes busy. I like the new boss.
5. ????
6. PROFIT!!!

THIRD TIME CHARMING, SEXTON BRINGS “FREAKSHOW” TO THE MASSES
New novel brings colorful story of twin acrobat teen boys in traveling circus

A duo of slender and extremely agile youths face questions about their interests in bedding local boys, carnival staff, and one another in Jonathan Sexton’s third novel. This release marks his second release in as many years!

Hadyn and Devyn Robertson find themselves at a crossroads as the circus pulls into town at a stop in Macon, Georgia. While one of the twin acrobats seem to be in love with their world of high flying action and steamy weekend long romances, the other appears to be at war with it.

When Hadyn starts to reveal his feelings may be stronger for his twin than perhaps natural, things start to unravel. The natural ebb and flow between brothers seems off and when a local boy gets tossed into the mix, things get downright ugly.

“‘Freakshow’ initially was intended to be very free spirited,” Jonathan Sexton goes on to explain, “but as the story was crafted and worked over, a real raw heart appeared at its core that I’m quite proud of.”

The novel is printed by Lulu.com a Print On Demand resource that is giving a voice to thousands of independent minded artists.

In addition to a physical release, ‘Freakshow’ is also being offered as a digital download, a first for Sexton.

“I was leery at first, but then I realized I really only want to get this in as many hands as possible.” Sexton adds, “Not being in a physical book store brings you certain limitations you want to try and help overcome for the fans.”

His previous work, ‘Later, Skater’ is also being released as a digital download simultaneously.

When I talked to Allen last night at Heretic, he told me that my books weren’t going to be allowed to be back at the Heretic Leather shop this time around. I spontaneously burst into tears like an uke being told they weren’t ever loved in spite of deep dicking every night of the week.

He told me to calm down, but I really couldn’t until I went outside and was consoled by two unlikely people: Mysterious Asian Dancer and his boyfriend back from a trip to Vietnam.

See, I wasn’t really crying because of the books or because I felt like I was being dissed by a company and by people that I thought were my friends now. Allen said that -none- of the consignment items were allowed now back in the shop after Danny passed away.

That’s the reason for the tears.

Danny.

He was the manager of Heretic Leathers (and I’ve since learned, co-founder of the Panthers, a leather and Levi fund raising fraternity.) He’d also become a friend of mine, especially in the year and a half since writing “Later, Skater.” He allowed me to put it back in the shop on consignment and part of the proceeds would go to help the Rainbow House, a favorite charity of Danny’s.

But Danny passed away on March 13th. And while I felt very terrible the Friday I learned, I knew he’d want us to keep on dancing. Besides, I knew that I’d have a new book soon in his shop and that’d be an even cooler way to keep his memory going.

Except last night I learned I won’t. Cue the waterworks.

Afterwards, I found Allen and told him that he didn’t have to try and plead my case to the owners of Heretic, even though he said earlier that he would. For one, I didn’t think it would do any good. You can’t really make an exception for just one person. But because I thought I’d done my mourning now, and Danny would deal with this kind of roadblock I’m sure just like I can.

I knew I’d miss Danny. I didn’t really think about it right away. And I was so fascinated to learn so much more about his life during the memorial last Saturday to feel that sad about it. But it certainly hit last night in the most terrible way.

“Freakshow” goes on sale Friday, April 17th online and in person, but it won’t be at any store this time around. Not even Heretic Leathers.

Goodbye Danny and thanks.

Tell me, faithful readers, it’s nearly been a year now for my last novel, “Later, Skater” and I’ve sold around 35 copies. Is that a success? Is it a failure? These aren’t really questions I concern myself with.

What I want to know today is if “Later, Skater” was made available as an e-book (essentially a PDF file) on Lulu that you could download and read and enjoy and fap to, for $5 dollars, would there be many takers?

Many authors have gone down this route while many others do not approve of it. I’m the Pixie of the People so I want to ask you, my fans, what you think.

5 dollars via credit card or paypal to Lulu.
You get to download “Later, Skater” as a PDF file.
No shipping. No handling. No physical book to be toting around.
And best yet this would work internationally.

What say you? Leave comments on this post, via the tag-board, or email.

PS: If you think this is a great idea, do you think I should release “Freakshow” the same way immediately or wait for a while?

I stopped smoking twelve days ago. Truly. Completely. Not half assed like any other attempt I’ve made before. When cigarette companies raised their prices BEFORE the government instituted new taxes that were to take effect April 1st, I sputtered and only bought a few more packs before I decided this was the end.

This really would be the end.

I’ve wanted to quit smoking for a long time. Finding myself not feeling well more days out of the week than when I did feel up to speed. Finding myself lighting up another one even though I really didn’t think I wanted one, but just because it was the time I normally had one. Or I needed to have another before I got to where I couldn’t have one.

And then the expense.

I had to quit.

So I did twelve days ago. I watched videos from whyquit.com . I made it so that I didn’t have to go into gas stations to pay for gas so I wouldn’t be tempted. I gave away my lighter. At Heretic I hung out most of the time with the one bartender that didn’t smoke when I wasn’t dancing. I put a bucket and fill it with 4 dollars every day to represent the money I’m not spending on cigarettes. And I keep track of how much money that is on notepad and will write down what goodies I spend that money on myself.

Will I succeed?

That’s kind of the question I’ve thought daily of course. It’s kind of the question other people seem to have on their minds as I continue on. Will he fail this time? Will he smoke again and be addicted all over again?

I don’t know. I don’t. I know that I can very strongly control if I buy cigarettes again. And considering their increased price (and Georgia is considering raising them another dollar) it’s not like I won’t be reminded one more time before I buy a pack. And there is that nightclub situation to consider where smoking was something I liked doing quite a bit.

So, I don’t really know.

But I do know that for the last twelve days I haven’t and that’s twelve days I didn’t have under my belt completely and totally free any other time I’ve tried doing this.

Went to the dentist today. They say I need a filling on one tooth, a root canal, core whatevers, and a crown bridge whatevers. It’s $2,800 or so. I don’t have it. No, I don’t have a dental plan. (Lisa needs braces.) Even if I did, it’d be fucking expensive.

The filling is at least an amount I can reach ($155) so I guess I can do that and help that part. Of course, it’s not causing me the pain that the other does. But since I don’t have that kind of money, have no way of getting that kind of money, and honestly don’t really know if that kind of money is worth such a thing… I guess I’m just going to live with it until I eventually lose the tooth.

Not much else really to be said or done about it really, I don’t think.

NEWEST UPDATE: I re-patched up the ending as when I was listening to my copy today I was just not happy with the way the Prodigy came in. I also didn’t think the song Frank’s Here really worked out. So, I put in more of Bump Uglies from the master, took out Take Me to the Hospital, and added more songs to round out the set. I apologize for the repeated updates, but I think the end result now is very satisfying.

It’s been many months but I finally got the opportunity to go over and mix again at Kaze’s place. Having very little practice since the last time, I did have a false start and had to try again.

Some of the mixing isn’t as tight as I would like, volume controls had to be tweaked post mix, and I had to fix a complete and total screw up at the end as well in post, but I think I’m developing into a somewhat competent DJ.

It’s hosted once again on Rapidshare which means every now and then it’ll expire and I’ll need to reupload. Please be patient, let me know via comments that it’s dead and I’ll get to it as soon as I can.

DJ Seme/Uke — Superman, Supergirl
Approximately 104MB
76 minutes, 24 seconds

01. People Are Crazy …. G Club
02. Let It Rock … Kevin Rudolf f. Lil Wayne
03. Sexual Eruption … Snoop Dogg
04. Walking and Talking … Ray Charles
05. Pump It Up … Danzel
06. I Kissed A Girl … Katy Perry
07. Funplex … The B52′s
08. Keeps Getting Better … Christina Aguilera
09. White Wedding … Billy Idol
10. I’ll Be Your Light … Kristine W.
11. Poison … Groove Coverage
12. Bump Uglies … BassKleph
13. Courtship Dating … Crystal Castles
14. Hollywood on my Toothpaste … Telepopmusik
15. Omen (reprise) … The Prodigy
Hidden. World’s On Fire … The Prodigy

I happen to know quite a lot. Check how much you know by taking my first quiz submitted to the pop culture and movie website HWDYN.com. The best part is that registration isn’t required (but recommended) to take the quiz.

Last night at Heretic, in which I was there a whopping 9 hours thanks to rain really making Momocon an uncomfortable place to be, I met a male to female not-yet-transitioned transgendered person who prefers the company of other women.

I know right?

She was so dazzling, beautiful, alluring. I told her that it made me sad that I was enchanted by her upon finding out that she liked girls and I didn’t have a shot.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Pixie, you’re a gay boy who likes other boys, what is going on here?”

Well, you have to just take a simple look back at my history to realize apparently this is not a hard rule. Just Elf himself is one of the most key elements to unlocking this sexuality puzzle. Elf is a male to female not-yet-transitioned also not-yet-on-hormones or anything like that transgendered person that prefers the company of men. And I like Elf quite a bit still.

So anyway, I thought it’d be quite lovely, and did have a really great time hanging out with, running all around Heretic with, and, yes, even being placated with a few kisses with this fun loving, really unique, and strikingly beautiful girl.

In the end though, I’m not what she’s looking for and so I had to say goodnight and declined giving my contact information. It’d be so cool to have her as an ongoing friend, but considering other delicious people in my life I can’t be with, I didn’t think I wanted another ongoing reminder of what I was not getting: boy or girl.

Pixiesticks got it start 8 years ago as part of a movie review website I did with my then best friend. I was sort of newly out of the closet and I wanted to speak my mind about a host of topics. I also wanted to see if I couldn’t bust some stereotypes in the process.

I think when you’re a young gay boy, you tend to believe that there is a certain way you have to act, certain things you have to enjoy or dislike, and have a general clone-like persona. None of this is actually true.

With my own domain, I felt I had the freedom to say what I wanted, no matter the consequences. It was wonderful when the emails started coming, even though some of them were critical of me as long as they had something interesting to say, it always gave me a thrill and still does eight years later.

When I discovered yaoi, my heart soared. I fell in love with the genre instantly, and became even more enamored of shota when I found that sub-genre a few years later. Posting yaoi on pixiesticks however created some problems. I lost my web hosting twice. Both times, when you’ve realized what has happened to your internet world, your heart just shatters. All that time spent. All of those files. Sure, more often than not they were replaceable with backups, but sometimes not. And it’s a great undertaking to put it all back up again.

Last year I made the extremely controversial move to push all of my yaoi content to its own domain. If I lose it, at least I won’t lose this place was my thinking. Shotalicious.org was born and I had a lot of people angry with me. Fortunately, more were thrilled. And as time went by, the negative voices were drowned out by the growing horde of thousands of fans.

Pixiesticks’ ratings, however have plummeted. Updates are not as frequent, though rarely do more than a couple of days go by without something being said, link given, interesting website, or video, or news posted.

I think my website is just as relevant as it ever has been. While it may have lost its sexy explicit anime content, not a day goes by that I don’t think about the reason why I started pixiesticks.org. And I am ever thankful for those who come here and enjoy what I’ve created.

8 Years. It’s almost as old as Google. Here’s to 8 more.

7. Feel the Silence by Elegant Machinery
6. 7H46 by Danger
5. Fuse by She
4. Colours by Prodigy
3. That Girl, That Boy by Hadouken!
2. Courtship Dating by Crystal Castles
1. Artillery by Infected Mushroom

Honorable Mention: You Can Do Magic (remix) by America

Here’s a shot Colin took of Allie bleaching my hair. As you can tell by my anguish, while I’m perfectly fine taking a dick up my ass, apparently chemical burns to the scalp just aren’t my thing.

I took this kind of crappy video with my crappy old digital camera that my mom got me for my birthday a few years ago. Actually, she got me a printer and the camera came free with it. It’s obvious why. Bleh. At least this shows that yes, indeed, it snows here in Georgia. Just never enough.

Holy shit. Can you really believe it? I know I can’t. But it’s true. On March 11th, 2009, your favorite website for the preservation of young gay boys is turning eight years old!

While much has changed, a few things remain the same.

Last year, I opened shotalicious.org as a place to post my yaoi and new enthusiasm for the shota sub-genre. It would serve as a lil’ brother website to this one and would provide a bit of comfort should our webhost decide to take it down. I’d still have this site up and running and not lose years of precious history.

In the last year, shotalicious.org’s reach and hits have skyrocketed. Nearly 10,000 people visit the site EVERY SINGLE DAY. That’s far and above the expectations I had for the site and I’m so happy that now with the addition of a tag-board and Facebook group, it seems a sense of community is finally forming there.

But what about pixiesticks? What about the site that’s been here for me and for young gay boys for the last 8 years?

I’m doing what I’ve always felt I needed to do. I post the news stories that I feel affect where my interests are. And I also continue to give my commentary on such events. There is also the posts that deal directly with my life and what is happening in it that many find compelling because it gives them another perspective of what they have going on themselves.

Pixiesticks.org has absolutely helped me live my life. And judging from the emails I’ve read, judging from the friendships I’ve formed, and the comments written here, I know that pixiesticks.org IS still one of the best gay blogs still around after EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!

So allow me to say, Happy Birthday to my own site. It’s amazing it’s lasted this long and I hope that we’ll be here for many more years to come.

Finally, because pixiesticks.org turns 8, shotalicious.org is turning 1. Awww, isn’t it so cute! Expect to find more of what you come there for throughout the month of March.

Thanks for all of your support in the past and your continued support in the future. I love you all.

–PIXIE

Last night at Heretic I enjoyed some really interesting mixed company. I met a large Brazillian guy named Mario who really nice and seemed really confident and secure in his oversized status. I think that’s awesome.

I was also with Trace. He’s a guy I slept with a while back, but it just didn’t work out so well. I’m glad we’re still friends. I don’t think that happens very often, but maybe it does.

Then there was this fellow who was really cute, who I can’t remember his name. Maybe he didn’t even give it. I don’t recall him talking much. He seemed interested in me and Trace and I was waiting for Kaze to show, so I pretty much gave Trace the green light to persue. He did and I didn’t see the pair for a while.

Towards the end of the night, after Kaze was ready to leave, the guy comes over and asks where Trace went. I said he was staying at the Cheshire Motor Inn, and I thought they’d gone together. Obviously Trace bailed. I told Kaze goodbye and danced with the guy.

We bumped, we grinded, I stuck my hands down his pants and was very delighted at what I found. He had a very smooth and nice rock solid cock and was seemingly very eager to have me molest him. He kissed me first, and I was happy that it looked like Trace’ loss would be my gain.

I offered to take him home with me, but he declined and didn’t invite me to his place. And just as the lights were starting to flicker on, before I really could think about asking him for a number he ran away!

Damnit!!!

Tonight I’m going to Colin’s girlfriend’s house to possibly get my bangs blonded again. Hopefully they’ll do a great job and I’ll look beautiful and can lure that guy back if I ever see him again.

With Friday the 13th, Valentine’s Day, and President’s Day all rolled into one fun happy package, I expected big things. I was not disappointed. While I didn’t find a boy interesting or willing enough to bump uglies with, I did have a great time both out and at home.

Friday I worked half the day for someone who’s worked for me many times before, so it was all good. Money was welcome and allowed me to indulge more than I normally have been lately.

That evening, I ditched Heretic early once again for Rocky Horror Picture Show. There I met up with an old friend Strobel and his gay friend whom I can’t remember the name of. He was nice and we did point out all the hotties together, but it just didn’t seem to gel between us so I decided not to persue.

Saturday night I got to see Victoria who was brought by now goatee’d friend Marco. I haven’t seen Victoria since she fully transitioned so it was a real treat. While I’m sure I totally talked her ear off asking her nosy questions about the whole ordeal, I think she got the sense that I was genuinely interested in how things were. I had quite the crush on who she used to be but am very delighted she’s now got the body to match her mind and spirit.

Also that evening I hiked across Cheshire Bridge Road to Jungle. Yeah, it’s back to being called that, though I still think they sometimes do events there under the country name I can’t recall. Jungle is so much cooler anyway. As was DJ Chris Cox. He gave it to me hard just like I’d been wanting for a while now.

Today was a lazy Sunday. I talked to Elf for a little while. I slept a lot. And I also watched Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. I highly recommend it if you didn’t catch it in the theatres for the brief time it played. It’s good stuff.

This next week school is out so work will be a bit more of a challenge, but perhaps it’ll come with more extra cash.

So to be honest, I really didn’t think much about the bad luck that was supposedly coming with the 13th. And I didn’t think about the Valentine I didn’t have on the 14th either. I guess neither were just not important.

It was a pretty mixed up weekend.

Starting out Friday by doing my usual small shift at work. After checking my bank balances, I quickly learn that my income tax refund has arrived. Hurrah! So that evening I decide to go to Rocky Horror Picture Show for my 57th viewing of the masterpiece.

It’s still a rocking good time with lots of people showing up for the exploits of Brad (asshole) and Janet (slut).

The crowd is young though. I suppose it always was.

Saturday involved me editing some more of “Freak Show” both here at home and in the early evening at Heretic. I got about 40 pages done which is good.

Later at Heretic, I continued lamenting that boys suck, and not in the good creamy way. While seeing Mik was nice, dancing with him nice, and talking with him nice, other hotties were not so nice. Or rather, just not interested. That’s okay. I apparently can survive without practicing my homosexuality.

I would like to though.

Today I ventured to see Elf which is more of an event than ever since it never happens with regularity anymore. I’m certainly not in the same place I was before where my feelings for him are concerned. I do still like him, of course. But it’s not an obsession.

We laid out the concepts for “Freak Show’s” cover and watched a bad movie on hulu called “Terror Is Man.”